It has been a while since I was able to go see my barber...

...so I invited him to comb over to my house.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I denounce that barbers religion

It's hairesy

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashnakag3019
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Man walks into a barber shop: β€œCan you shape my afro like a sphere?”

Sorry, we don’t do that round hair.

πŸ‘︎ 270
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nftpc
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
The poor local barber was just barely squeaking by...

But he made do.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

Because he took a shortcut.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Nice pun from the local barber shop
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaBooch425
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...

They really need a hair traffic controller.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My barber wanted we to sign a contract before cutting my hair, but I refused...

I wouldn't accept his perms and conditions.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
If a man who cuts men's hair is a barber...

Would a woman who cuts men's hair be a Barbara?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chewygum93
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
A swarm of bees raided a barber shop

Judging from their noise, they definitely want a buzzcut.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BOTB03
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a barber

I was surprised by his shear genius.

Sorry if it's a repost, I just thought of it and posted straight up.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scarecrow_1912
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
I had a job as a barber...

but lost my job because of workforce TRIMMING and CUTS.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyIsOnReddit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".

That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thoxis1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
A barber near me got arrested for selling drugs.... I've been his customer for years...

I never knew he was a barber...

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Necr1s_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
When the barber asks me if I would like more cut off

Just a hair...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IsaacInRealLife
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Never trust a barber named Nick.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MysteryOrange7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: β€œHey dad, did you just get a hair cut?”

β€œNo son, I got them ALL cut!”

The cycle is complete. I have become my father.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mardrom_Bransle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a lion call his barber who's also his best friend?

His mane man.

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isuzu_buryani
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my barber if it was difficult to shave the line thingy on my head

He said "that's the hard part"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ps374
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Barber Joke

Where does the barber stash his money?

in his muSTACHE

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Asked my barber for a '2, back and sides'...

Barber: 'Why does everyone go for the Star Wars cut?'

Me: 'Say again?'

Barber: 'The classic Chew back and sides'.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sat_At_My_Desk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My barber across the street recently got arrested for selling drugs. I was his customer for years,

I didn't even know he was a barber!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wo1fx
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
A local barber in my area was arrested for selling drugs.

It blew my mindβ€”I've been his customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/averageteencuber
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I sat down in the barber's chair and said that I wanted to get a bowl cut. reddit.com/r/3amjokes/com…
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bobby-Bobson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My barber was arrested for selling drugs

I've been going to him for 10 years and had no idea he cut hair.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My son isn't keen on getting his haircuts. Every time I take him to the barber's, he questions why he needs his hair cut so often, while I never seem to need mine.

Today, I finally told him, "Because my hair falls out by itself."

I didn't have the heart to say, "You'll understand when you grow up."

It was about the only time male pattern baldness made sense to me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/austozi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do barbers like to eat for dinner?

Barber-que

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the barber say after surviving the accident?

It was a close shave.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dalekfromskaro
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Went to the barber shop with my friends

Unfortunately we all left alone... we all decided to get a crew cut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Zkck0517
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between an angry circus owner and a Roman barber?

One is a raving showman, and the other is a shaving Roman.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JRBX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I am the proud owner of a family-run barber shop

For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.

In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!

I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.

Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment o

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/somenewinfo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I told my dad I got a hair cut at the barber shop.

He said that when he goes, he get all of them cut.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zealous_gypsy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
i just got my hair cut today from a german barber...

His name was Herr Cutt

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bikerade
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
My barber got arrested for embezzlement

I heard he was taking a little off the top.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mckeekustom
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Can the barber be charged with battery on this?
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/x3XC4L1B3Rx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the barber to get the same haircut as Mike Tyson

Even though our hair is now the same, there is a striking difference between two of us.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Barber-dos
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Toxic_Crustacean
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
A barber just told me I should go for a business in the front, party in the back style....

.....I told him I'd mullet over....

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2017
🚨︎ report
I've been trying to get into this exclusive barber shop for months now . . .

But I can never make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I just ran into my barber on the street. He asked me how I liked the haircut he gave me last week.

I told him it's growing on me.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keithasaurus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the barber depressed?

He needed to dye

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BASE450TWO
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do barbers ask so many questions?

Shear curiosity.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usegao
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Barber: You have nice hair...

Me: Thanks, I grew it myself.

πŸ‘︎ 106
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nam_sdrawkcab_ehT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
The barber asked me if I wanted to do it the easy way, or the hard way

I said I wanted a shortcut

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SauceMaster6464
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought hair extensions and paid the barber with venison.

That's a bang for my buck

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the koalas say to the barber?

Eucalyptus!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arbaminim
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty sure my barber...

...is talking about me behind my back.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Our barber is the best in town hands down.

That's why the seats are so low or he's really high, otherwise he's shit. Just a little sideburn there, but really he's great, a do or dye stand-up guy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I just got charged 100k at the barber's.

I said 'I thought is was supposed to be 10 for a haircut'. He said 'It is but I chopped off more than 1'.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a German barber?

Herr Kutz

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/avl0
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Barber was off his game today

He was having a Bad Hair Day

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spiritbomb86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
I went to a new barbers with complimentary beer

And I walked out half cut

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alasdair86
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked the barber to cut my hair like elvis

He swung his hips, sang hound dog, and shaved it all off

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I’m not looking forward to my next appointment with the Jamaican barber.

As a matter of fact, I’m dreading it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you see that new Mexican barber shop?

It's called Jesus Shaves

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He knew a shortcut.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Ultimate
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2016
🚨︎ report
I visited a barber shop yesterday, was really amazed.

They were using cutting edge technology.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowjoneki
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2016
🚨︎ report
I was walking past the barber shop today and he had a sign in the window that read, 'Haircuts - $5 each' so I went in...

When he'd finished, he said, "Right Sir, that'll be $450,000 please."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
getting my hair cut in the barbers

and he asks me if I wanted it cut around the back

I replied no its fine to do it here

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
🚨︎ report
My barber suggested i leave my hair longer in the back

I told him I would mullet over & get back to him later

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
My barber only does Mohawks, and it's his second job...

...He only cuts hair on the side.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the barber who went bankrupt?

He couldn't afford toupΓ©e his bills.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HanlonRazor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2016
🚨︎ report
My barber gave me an unconventional haircut recently

It's grown on me

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/myth-ran-dire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
🚨︎ report
Went to a rasta barber...

...my hair is now dreadful.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kippekok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that German barber?

Herr Kutz

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHUD18
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Barber Shop

Today while I was getting my hair cut, my barber answered a phone call, saying "Barber Shop." After he finished the call, the barber told me that the guy on the other end of the line responded, "Hello, Barber Shop."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paulcosmith
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
My barber charged me $20 to get a hair cut.

But I demanded that he cut the rest of them as well.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does a rabbit fear barbers?

Because they are haredressers.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xx_das_shame_xx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a German barber?

Herr Cutter

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marty___mcfly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2016
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking of becoming a barber

Well you know, it's a growing industry...

Thanks dad. :)

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peterampbell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My barber, Richard, isn't very good.

All in all, he's just another Rick with a Wahl.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wavemotiondan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad goes to a barber named Scotty just so he can say...

Clean me up Scotty!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Was at the barber today.

So the barber asked how I wanted my hair. I replied, Shorter would be nice. I got a good chuckle from that one.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joshuaaww
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2016
🚨︎ report
What did the kid with the square head say to the barber?

"Once around the block please."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AaronGuile
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2016
🚨︎ report
Why'd the barber unscrew every other lightbulb?

To cut costs

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hutimuti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
My Dad told me he'd booked an appointment with a Jamaican barber today.

He says he's dreading it.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditguy1298
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2014
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female Barber?

Barbara

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/prettyrickyent
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my barber yesterday!

I was getting a haircut and the woman asked if I knew where Horse Neck Beach was. I replied right below Horse Head Beach! Cue her disapproving glare...

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSteele
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Making Dad proud at the barber

I was getting my hair cut today and told her how I started blacksmithing this summer and made my own forge.

Barber: "Oh that's really cool!"

Me: "Actually, it's really hot!"

Barber audibly groans.

Thanks for raising me right Dad!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elderly_Man
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Why are there so few barbers that will shave your beard?

It's quite a cut-throat buisness

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/An_Azelf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2015
🚨︎ report
Every time I went to the barber for 17 years...

Me: Bye, Dad! I'm going to get a haircut." Dad: "Which one?"

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AluminumKnuckles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?

James Bond: No thank you. Dye another day.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the barber win the race?

He took a short cut.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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What does a lion call his barber?

His mane man!

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SonicBlaze
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2017
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What does a lion call his barber?

His Mane Man!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kovehshteeble
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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