The other day I was stood in a queue for the barbers, the line was so long they started handing out burgers and hot dogs.
Best barber-queue Iβve ever been too
π︎ 34
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︎ Jun 01 2021
My local barber was arrested for dealing drugs in my neighborhood.
I've gone to him for 5 years and I never knew he was a barber.
π︎ 115
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︎ May 07 2021
My barber was kicked of the talent show
π︎ 13
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︎ May 29 2021
Why did the bee get fired from the barber shop?
He could only give buzz cuts.
π︎ 3
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︎ May 26 2021
Yβall hear about that country barber who accepts venison as payment, but only does bowl cuts?
Says he just wants to give folks the most bangs for their buck.
π︎ 27
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︎ Mar 11 2021
What did the Jewish man tell his barber when he asked how he'd like his haircut?
Just a little off the top
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I ran into my old barber today after going to a different guy for the last few months. He asked me why Iβm not coming in to the shop anymore and I said,
βYou just havenβt been cutting it lately.β
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 25
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︎ Apr 01 2021
Every time I get my haircut I get into lengthy arguments with my barber.
The guy can really split hairs
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Not just barbers
Quirky animal lovers use their hare to express themselves
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 20 2021
The barber asked how I wanted my hair. I said I wanted a crew.
Five minutes later, ten barbers asked how I wanted my hair.
π︎ 13
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Recently, the Kansas City Chiefs acted quickly and had to pull their team barber out mid-cut because they learned he tested positive for COVID.
Guess you could say that it was a close shave
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 05 2021
I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.
He said βoh, you want the Snyder Cutβ.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 30 2020
Local barber in the area got arrested for selling drugs.
Blew my mind. Iβve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
π︎ 240
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Everyone laughed when they saw the way my barber styled me...
But I liked my new hardehardo.
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Ad in local paper : 'Wanted Barber's assistant'
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 06 2021
My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!
I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 09 2020
So today was my barber's last day at the barbershop...
He said it was time to switch careers. But no matter what profession he chose or what career path he took.... he just couldn't cut it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 05 2020
Man walks into a barber shop: βCan you shape my afro like a sphere?β
Sorry, we donβt do that round hair.
π︎ 270
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︎ Apr 25 2020
My barber is planning an ultimate terror, fright theme for his shop this Halloween
I bet it will be a hair razing experience.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 23 2020
While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 16 2020
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
π︎ 134
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︎ Dec 27 2019
It has been a while since I was able to go see my barber...
...so I invited him to comb over to my house.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 07 2020
What did the smart caveman say when the barber asked why he didn't like his last haircut?
π︎ 9
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︎ Jun 23 2020
I denounce that barbers religion
π︎ 50
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︎ Jun 05 2020
Nice pun from the local barber shop
π︎ 3
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︎ May 09 2020
I had a job as a barber...
but lost my job because of workforce TRIMMING and CUTS.
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 02 2020
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
π︎ 9
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︎ May 18 2020
If a man who cuts men's hair is a barber...
Would a woman who cuts men's hair be a Barbara?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 17 2020
The poor local barber was just barely squeaking by...
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 16 2020
A swarm of bees raided a barber shop
Judging from their noise, they definitely want a buzzcut.
π︎ 2
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︎ May 27 2020
Never trust a barber named Nick.
π︎ 18
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: βHey dad, did you just get a hair cut?β
βNo son, I got them ALL cut!β
The cycle is complete. I have become my father.
π︎ 44
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︎ Sep 03 2019
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".
That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.
π︎ 8
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︎ Jan 20 2020
I asked my barber if it was difficult to shave the line thingy on my head
He said "that's the hard part"
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 01 2019
How did the barber win the race ?
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 01 2020
"Back so soon? I thought you went for a haircut, dad?" asked my son. "Well..." I replied. "My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused."
"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."
π︎ 12
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut.
π︎ 4
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︎ May 25 2020
My barber wanted we to sign a contract before cutting my hair, but I refused...
I wouldn't accept his perms and conditions.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 20 2020
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 13 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 43
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︎ Nov 13 2019
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 30
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︎ Oct 25 2019
A barber near me got arrested for selling drugs.... I've been his customer for years...
I never knew he was a barber...
π︎ 38
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 23 2020
When the barber asks me if I would like more cut off
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 01 2020
A local barber in my area was arrested for selling drugs.
It blew my mindβI've been his customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber.
π︎ 78
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︎ Mar 30 2019
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