I asked the barber to replace most of what the last barber did, make it three times longer, and give it three parts.
He said βoh, you want the Snyder Cutβ.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
Ad in local paper : 'Wanted Barber's assistant'
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
Everyone laughed when they saw the way my barber styled me...
But I liked my new hardehardo.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused!
I just couldn't accept all those perms and conditions!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
So today was my barber's last day at the barbershop...
He said it was time to switch careers. But no matter what profession he chose or what career path he took.... he just couldn't cut it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
Local barber in the area got arrested for selling drugs.
Blew my mind. Iβve been his customer for years. I had no idea he was a barber.
π︎ 242
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts?
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
My barber is planning an ultimate terror, fright theme for his shop this Halloween
I bet it will be a hair razing experience.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 23 2020
How did the barber win the race ?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
While driving down in a part of town we don't usually visit, my 12yo son noticed and mentioned a barber shop named Roman Palace.
I told him they only do Caesar cuts.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
Man walks into a barber shop: βCan you shape my afro like a sphere?β
Sorry, we donβt do that round hair.
π︎ 269
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
What did the smart caveman say when the barber asked why he didn't like his last haircut?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 23 2020
It has been a while since I was able to go see my barber...
...so I invited him to comb over to my house.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
When you ask the barber for a haircut fit for "I'm under pressure"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
I denounce that barbers religion
π︎ 49
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Nice pun from the local barber shop
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 09 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 25 2020
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
π︎ 134
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
The poor local barber was just barely squeaking by...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 16 2020
With the barber shop finally open after many weeks, there was a huge crowd of people jostling for position to get in...
They really need a hair traffic controller.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 18 2020
If a man who cuts men's hair is a barber...
Would a woman who cuts men's hair be a Barbara?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 17 2020
A swarm of bees raided a barber shop
Judging from their noise, they definitely want a buzzcut.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 27 2020
I had a job as a barber...
but lost my job because of workforce TRIMMING and CUTS.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
Never trust a barber named Nick.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
So I went to my barber and told him "Instead of using scissors, use this old 80s hair metal band CD".
That is how I got my MΓΆtley CrΓΌe cut.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 20 2020
Returning home from the barber, had a true old man moment today. My kid: βHey dad, did you just get a hair cut?β
βNo son, I got them ALL cut!β
The cycle is complete. I have become my father.
π︎ 41
π
︎ Sep 03 2019
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?
This joke actually has two answers:
A Hairline or A Barbecue (barber-que)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
I asked my barber if it was difficult to shave the line thingy on my head
He said "that's the hard part"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 01 2019
Barber Joke
Where does the barber stash his money?
in his muSTACHE
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
My barber was arrested for selling drugs
I've been going to him for 10 years and had no idea he cut hair.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
Some punny jobs
WORKING ON A JOB
My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned
I just couldnβt concentrate.
.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldnβt hack it,
so they gave me the axe.
.
After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasnβt suited for it.
The job was only so-so anyhow.
.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory,
but that was exhausting.
.
I wanted to be a barber,
but I just couldnβt cut it.
.
I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it,
I couldnβt cut the mustard.
.
My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found I wasnβt note worthy.
.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I didnβt have any patience.
.
Next was a job in a shoe factory;
but it just wasnβt the right fit.
.
I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I couldnβt live on my net income.
.
I thought about becoming a witch,
so I tried that for a spell.
.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company,
but the work was just too draining.
.
After many years of trying to find steady work,
I finally got a job as a historian,
until I realized there was no future in it.
.
My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit,
because it was always the same old grind.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 18 2019
"Back so soon? I thought you went for a haircut, dad?" asked my son. "Well..." I replied. "My barber wanted me to sign a long term service agreement before giving me a haircut, but I refused."
"I couldn't accept all those perms and conditions."
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 31 2020
My barber wanted we to sign a contract before cutting my hair, but I refused...
I wouldn't accept his perms and conditions.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 20 2020
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 13 2020
A barber near me got arrested for selling drugs.... I've been his customer for years...
I never knew he was a barber...
π︎ 38
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 41
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
When the barber asks me if I would like more cut off
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 30 2019
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
James Bond: No thank you. Dye
another day.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 03 2019
A local barber in my area was arrested for selling drugs.
It blew my mindβI've been his customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Mar 30 2019
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
Why did the barber win the race?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
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