Did you hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up the hammer and saw.
(my dad told this all the time. I am continuing on with the tradition...)
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I told my carpenter not to carpet my steps.
He gave me a blank stair.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
A sperm donor, Carpenter, and Julius Caesar walked into a bar
... He came, he saw, he conquered
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︎ Oct 28 2020
What did the carpenter do after he wasn't satisfied with his One Night Stand?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What did the carpenter say as they were being arrested?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
What is the cannibal carpenterβs favorite measurement?
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︎ Oct 24 2020
How a carpenter describes his personality on a dating app
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︎ Sep 26 2020
What do bakers, carpenters, and horses have in common?
They all like a good grain
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Why couldnβt the carpenter and the lumberjack get along
They saw things differently
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︎ Mar 21 2020
Jesus was known to be a carpenter, but I've always gotten the feeling that he would make a great attorney.
He was quite the cross-examiner.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
carpenter
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︎ Feb 28 2020
What did the Mexican carpenter have for lunch?
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︎ Apr 09 2020
How did the quarantined, unemployed carpenter pay his quarantined, unemployed staff after construction work came to a grinding halt?
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Carpenter ants or aunts?
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︎ Jun 22 2019
I auditioned to be a carpenterβs hand.
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︎ Nov 26 2019
What is it called when a bunch of carpenters and masons on the cruise?
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︎ Sep 28 2019
What does the carpenter tell his wife before going to bed?
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︎ Jul 26 2019
Did you hear about the carpenter who murdered someone at work?
They say he hit the nail on the head
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︎ Nov 18 2019
What did the depressed carpenter say?
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︎ Apr 11 2019
Did you see those carpenters at the party last night?
They really knew how to raise the roof.
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︎ Jul 27 2019
How does a carpenter catch a taxi?
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︎ Jul 02 2019
What thing does tech support and carpenters have in common?
They both work with routers on a regular basis.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
My friend Izzy wanted to furnish her new apartment, so I took her to furniture store owned by 3 carpenters, all named Paul.
Two of them were still apprentices and learning the trade, but the third was a master at the craft and was also my friend. They were currently busy in the workshop working on a set of great wooden letters which spelled "BEAST".
"Is your friend Paul the one working on the misshapen B?" Izzy asked.
"Nope, that's not him.", I replied.
"So is it the one working on the crooked E?"she responded.
"Most certainly not!" I answered. I finally saw him and exclaimed, "On ST is the best Paul, Izzy!"
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︎ Sep 24 2018
Who was the worlds first carpenter?
Eve, because she made Adams banana stand.
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︎ Mar 29 2019
My old job at the carpenters
I was working for a carpenter as work experience. He just got me to move planks from one pile to another
and woodn't you know it but I got pt having enough pretty board of not having actual qualitree experience.
I ended up getting so frustrated that I insulted him till I ran out of insults and was stumped. That's the story of how I decided to leaf being a builder behind me and branch out into new careers.
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Why was Jesus a bad carpenter?
He refused to cut corners.
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︎ Feb 10 2019
I hired a carpenter, but she'll only work on the walls, ceiling joists, doorframes, and windows.
Apparently floors are beneath her.
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︎ Feb 24 2017
I asked my father if he knew any finish carpenters
He replied "Nope, only Canadian carpenters and a couple of Americans"
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︎ Mar 29 2015
What do you call a carpenter without his saw?
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︎ Apr 06 2019
I see said the blind carpenter
As he reached for his hammer and saw.
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︎ May 31 2018
A carpenter was tired of people knocking down a symbol of his country. What did he have to do?
Make a stand for the flag.
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︎ Feb 13 2019
I tried to be a carpenter...
but I couldn't make the cut.
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︎ Aug 28 2018
I had to follow my dream of being a carpenter, even though I always end up injured.
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︎ Jan 27 2019
Iβm always one step ahead... like how a carpenter makes...
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︎ Dec 24 2018
My father is a carpenter...
Everytime he asks me a question and I give a good answer he says "You hit the nail on the head son." I always take that as a dad joke.
When I work with him and need to nail a board he says "Good answer"
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︎ Jan 14 2019
Did you guys hear about the blind carpenter?
He picked up a hammer and saw
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︎ Nov 18 2020
A sperm, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My father was a blind carpenter
until he picked up his hammer and saw.
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︎ Jun 02 2020
A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Ceasar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Oct 15 2018
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Jul 24 2019
A sperm donor, a Carpenter and Julius Caesar walk into a bar
He came, He saw and He conquered
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︎ May 26 2019
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and Julius Caesar walk into a bar.
He came, he saw, he conquered.
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︎ Oct 05 2018
Have you ever heard the story of the blind carpenter?
He picked up his hammer and saw.
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︎ Jan 11 2019
What do you call a carpenter who loses his tools?
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︎ Feb 17 2019
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