I just downloaded the new app which will evaluate you bank account and tell you which Apple product you can afford. Turns out I can afford,

Apple juice

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lisajean1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I thought getting a bank account would be boring

but I've slowly gained interest

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When Biden pressed Trump about his Chinese bank account, Trump admitted...

I lost Yuan

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw $50,000 mysteriously put into my bank account

I want no trouble, so I decided to leave it where I found it

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UniBiPoly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I created a bank account dedicated entirely to buying and maintaining bushes

I call it my hedge fund

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkippyDingleCha1k
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the bank teller and told him I wanted to change banks and open an account.

Man: No problem Sir. What’s the name of your previous bank?

Me: Piggy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my friend opened a bank account to save up for drugs

Is it a 'joint' account.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vinanthbharadwaj
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is my bank account like a personals ad?

When I click on it there are fewer singles than I expected.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Bank account
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Today I opened a new bank account on the phone. Everything was done by protocall.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atanasA
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
When you open a bank account it's paused

That's why you gotta de-pause it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arm3tt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't ever open a joint bank account with a cowgirl.

She might beat you to the draw.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I decided to withdraw all my money in my bank account into coins

I really need some change in my life

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBritishSnob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm addicted to having money in my bank account.

I suffer from withdrawals.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evilgeekwastaken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Me and my friend opened a shared bank account for buying weed

It'll be our joint account.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/airlancelot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My bank is no longer offering its new savings account

There was no interest

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/harrythehousefly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my girlfriend with a couple while trying to open up an online bank account.

Her: We should get going.

Me: Hold on, I want to open this online bank account before they close.

Her: <sarcastic> Oh yeah, cause they close early on Saturday

Me: Yeah, they have to head out early to beat the internet traffic.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neonoodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2015
🚨︎ report
My sister couldn't get into her bank account online

"Dad, I can't log into my bank account on here."

"Did you type your password in correctly?"

"Uh, duh."

"That's your problem, try typing it in right next time, sweetie."

groan "Oh my god..."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xgobez
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.