A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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I just saw an announcement on TV. Seems there’s a fortune teller that happens to be a dwarf, wanted by the FBI

To sum it up, there’s a small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corvette-Ronnie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
I recently got fired from a bank teller position when asked to check a client’s balance.

I pushed them over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ncumer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
A midget who was a fortune teller robbed a bank

The call went out that a small medium was at large

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EndymionMM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a bipolar fortune teller yesterday...

She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaron2571
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the bank and asked the teller to check my balance.

She shoved me pretty hard but I didn't fall down.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a bipolar fortune teller yesterday...

She says she either feels very manic, or quite depressed - never a happy medium.

(According to my facebook memories, I made this one up 7 years ago!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaron2571
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was never good being a dad joke teller....

So I became a bank teller instead

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb1216
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to see a fortune teller but my wife didn’t want to because they’re always so depressed. So we compromised and found...

A happy medium

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GDGameplayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are dragons the worse story tellers?

Because they dragon.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornyaustinite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune teller that provides his services for free?

A not-for-prophet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Fortune tellers only come in one size

Mediums

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sq009
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the midget fortune teller that broke out of jail?

Police are saying there is a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rosiekaykay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to a fortune tellers conference. They had free t-shirts.

They were all mediums.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberOgre
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I made matching t-shirts for the members of my fortune tellers club...

But it turned out not all of them were mediums

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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Teller Swift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kay_joshi
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Two fortune tellers meet on the street.

One says to the other, β€œYou’re fine, how am I?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Penn & Teller
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πŸ‘€︎ u/treesmithmusic
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, β€œGive me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller replies, β€œDon’t you mean history?”

The robber says, β€œDon’t change the subject!"

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I went to the bank teller and told him I wanted to change banks and open an account.

Man: No problem Sir. What’s the name of your previous bank?

Me: Piggy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short fortune teller who’s on the run?

A small medium at large.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/millenialmami
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walked into the bank and asked the teller to check his balance.

So she pushed him.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the fraudulent, short in stature fortune teller who escaped from jail?

The newspaper headline read β€˜Small Medium at Large’.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walked into a fortune teller's shop

He asks to have his future read and the fortune teller happily does so. After gazing into her crystal ball she starts to laugh uncontrollably. The man hits her immediately to which the teller asks: Why did you do that??????? The man replies, I've never struck a happy medium before

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oleolesp
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb

Couldn’t foresee the C4.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kwonza
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the bank teller why the guy sitting at the next window was wearing a mask & a cowboy outfit?

She said he was the lone arranger.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When I was training to be a teller, an old woman came in and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/British-Mystery
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Which dinosaur was widely regarded as the best fortune teller?

The tarotdactyl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/budcuddly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Fortune teller: Someone near you is going to be dissapointed soon.

Dad: That'd be you; I've come out without my wallet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChronosGrundy03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fortune teller who only sees the worst in things?

A pessi-mystic

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapasatan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJDDooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into a bank, walks up to the teller and asks, β€œHave you ever gone someplace and forget what you’re there for?” The teller looks at him, her eyes getting larger and larger.

The guy scratches his head with his gun saying, β€œI hate when that happens.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a short fortune teller that just broke out of prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaNullman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do all fortune tellers have good eyes

Because they all have 20/20 vision

(Last time I can ever use that joke)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajpj27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Fortune tellers are easy to buy clothes for.

They’re all mediums.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Bank tellers can also be called...
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nimja_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What do call a midget fortune-teller that escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/roecaro1HD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baker say to the teller while robbing the bank?

β€œSorry, but I knead the dough!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bach563
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The dwarf fortune teller who kills his costumers...

...is a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sanguinelimbo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about the bank teller who killed a robber with a bag of change?

She nickel and dimed him to death.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chickenugget_TM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I was once fired from my job as a bank teller

I still don't know why the woman got so mad when I pushed her over to "Check her balance."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QQtippy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
A Man In a Ski Mask Walks into a Bank, and Pulls out a Coffee Cup at the Bank Teller.

The Bank Teller Goes: " Are you Trying to Mug me?! "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Powershroom64
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that's on the lamb?

He's a small medium at large.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/legdiyen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the tiny fortune teller that escaped from jail?

It’s a small medium at large

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the French bank robber say to the bank teller handing him money?

"Baguette"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KreonTheSleepy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crazy fortune teller?

A psychicpath

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sauron4pres
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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