Can you guys give me really good back puns?
My one year anniversary since i had back surgery is coming up and i cant think of any really good back jokes, if you guys could get the back surgery jokes straightened out that would be great!
I broke my back in a car accident and I'm looking for a pun for my grad cap
So yeah I got into a car accident during college and I wanted to commemorate that on my grad cap. My mom won't let me put my mri, "you should put something positive on your cap, not something negative" so yeah a back pun is the next best thing I could think of putting on there.
Why do bouncers throw violent drunks out the back door?
Because they belong behind bars.
Was in a bar when this guy said to me, “I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar!” I shot back...
My wife has the most weird abacus tattoo on her back.
But I can always count on her
My son has recently taken up an interest in music. We're constantly going back and forth trying to stump the other with trivia. He thought he had me when he chorused, "Hey, dad, what genre are national anthems?!" I laughed, "That's easy!"
Our doorbell rang and my son called to me, "Dad, there's a salesman here with a mustache!" I yelled back...
"Tell him I've already got one!"
I was interrogating a crab the other day and I asked it “What’s your name? Where do you live? What’s that on your back?”
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My dad asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you’d get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
My wife laughed, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math!" I shrugged and said, "You never know! Anybody can win the lottery." Folding her arms, she asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?" I shot back, "Yes!! 100%!!"
What do you call a Boomerang that doesn’t come back.
What do you call an old, grumpy Avatar that comes back and ruins the economy every time you send him away?
I got a job as a concrete pourer a while back
It started off ok but just got harder, I suppose I just got set in my ways!
Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.
It would be truly alarming.
I said to my therapist that I feel a little paranoid with Back Street Boys, and he said...
What happens when you die and come back as a cowboy?
I hadn’t used my main in around a year but had a reason to burro back in my post history... I had forgotten about this, and I don’t mean to brag but this is the single greatest post I’ve ever made on reddit.
I tried to make a coronavirus joke a while back.
No body laughed at that time, but eventually everyone got it.
You know what was really cool back in the day?
I'm allergic to sesame seeds, so back in Year 3 at primary school, people would tell this joke:
What show is Dec allergic to?
Sesame Street!
I said I was sad to have to go back to work on Monday after a long break. My four year old without missing a beat said...
Daddy, you're sad because it's SADurday.
I was so proud.
Told the doctor that I have this eel that keeps bursting out of my back and crying.
He prescribed me some anti-BackTearyEel lotion to take care of it.
(On The Spot Joke) My Partner was in bed cracking her back and asked.....
“Hey can you hear my back crack”
I replied “yea can you hear my ass crack” then proceeded with the filthiest fart known to man
Absolute crack up. Hahahahahah even she laughed
What kind of bra do you wear on your back?
What does CS Lewis keep in the back of his wardrobe?
The furniture store called me back yet again
all I wanted was that one night stand tho...
Why did the ghost keep coming back to the library?
He went through the books too quickly
I put a piece of wood in my garage and came back the next day and there were two pieces. The day after 4 and the day after that 8!
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!
My wife is angry. Last night for my anniversary, I left the kids, snuck out with my ex-girlfriend, and we hooked up in the back seat like we used to.
She hates when I call her that.
I gifted my back door neighbors a ice crusher.
It was a good ice breaker in the retrospect.
Why did the clock go back four seconds?
Back to school in India
What did the Indian kid say to his mother when he left for school...?
Mumbai
👋
You’ll do a lot of dumb things in your youth, son, and that’s okay, because most of the consequences won’t follow you into adulthood. But you know what will always come back to haunt you?
i went to the chiropractor with back pain, i didn't think it was that bad. he looked at me and said i have scoliosis, and he fixed me!
Yet another from my 10 year old: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
I thought all the trees were broken when they lost their leaves this winter. They're starting to come back now though.
I’ll be back...
And I’ll be Beethoven!
(Been rocking this joke since I was 10!)
Why do squirrels swim on their back?
I went to a Beach Boys concert a while back.
I got the word “Ouch” tattooed on the back of my foot yesterday. My son asked me if it still hurts.
I told him yes, but it’ll heel.
If I die and come back as a cowboy...
It would be reintarnation
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