her kid niece
I told her I might Noah guy.
Auntiedepressant
I said "80, auntie"
Because of their Auntie-bodies
He has a wife now, and her name is Aunty Perspirant
It was Auntie Climactic.
Snip snip and Bob's your auntie.
An actual joke my dad told me.
Auntie Matter
His Auntie Christ
Because now she had aunty bodies around her.
Their sisters are also getting auntie bodies
It really upped the aunty!
Thwy got great auntie bodies
The warranty claimed it had free “aunty-virus” protection software.
thanks to all of their auntie-bodies.
Vigil aunties.
We called her Auntie Up.
But the punchline is a bit of an aunty-climax
It’s the Auntie Derivative.
During dinner, I compared how Son #2 [4yo] was eating his spaghetti to an anteater. This sparked the following conversation.
Son #2: "What if I really was an ant?"
Son #1 [7yo]: "Then you wouldn't really eat very much spaghetti. Ants eat just a little because they're so small."
Me: "Well, did you know it's pretty likely that, eventually, your sister will grow up to be an aunt?"
Daughter [5yo]: "What?"
Me: "Yeah, all it'll take is for one of you boys to have a kid. Then, she'll turn into an aunt."
[Kids look confused. Son #1 has worked out the pun, is rolling eyes.]
Wife: "He's right. We helped do it to Auntie Leah."
[It clicks.]
Daughter: "Oooooh, Daaad."
Auntie Bacterial
My auntie, Histamine.
Bruce: Yeah! She's the best vigilAUNTIE out there.
She's Aunty Dan Druff
I was glad to have the auntie dote.
Oh wait, sorry, this is more of an auntie joke.
People have got to stop making Nazi puns. They're offensive, Anne Frankly, in terms of humor, they're usually Hitler miss at best. I can just Nazi why you even make them. They'll Holocaust you a Jewish friend someday. We should all just do the Reich thing and stop it... Still... I guess I don't want to stop Jew while you're having so much fun... What the Heil, I'll just sit back in Mein Kampfy chair and watch.
We call her auntie-freeze.
They were Auntie-theticals
He calls them auntie-jokes.
I'm notoriously auntie smoking.
"We have seen the Aunty Christ."
Dropping my nephew off after a day of hanging out: Him: I love you, auntie. Me: I love you, too. Him: I love you ten!
I didn't get it or laugh until I was half way down the street. I'm also going to steal a 4 year-old's joke.
My family had a get-together for my grandpa's birthday tonight and ISIS became the topic of the conversation.
Aunty: "I heard that ISIS is all over the place now."
Dad: "Yeah, you know where it is?"
Grandpa: "Where?"
Dad: "ISIS in the freezer."
Eyerolls and groans everywhere.
This an old one. One time I was sick when I was a kid so I went to see a doctor, who happened to be my aunt. Anyway, after I'm done I meet up with my dad in the waiting room. Me: Looks like I got a throat infection, Dad. Him (looking at prescription slip): I know, I see she's prescribed you some AUNTI-biotics
Groaned all the way to the pharmacy.
Pulling up to the grocery store with my 8.5 month pregnant wife, my mother, father and 12 year old nephew.
Wife "this place looks packed" Nephew "you look packed auntie"
Everyone laughs.
an Auntie social.
Now when we all meet up every few months they greet her with "Hey auntie social".
