First time I bought a universal remote....

....I said to myself, "This changes everything."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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After achieving universal peace, the Guardians of the Galaxy settled down and opened a floor tile business.

I Am Grout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I got myself a universal remote control

And man, it changes everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LMF5000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself,

this changes everything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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There's not just leap years. A leap second is a one-second adjustment that is occasionally applied to Coordinated Universal Time (UTC)! Without it, GPS wouldn't work! Want me to really blow your mind?

There's also leap-frogs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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How can we be expected to manage universal healthcare when we obviously haven't even figured out

planetary healthcare?

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Do you know what will happen if we pass universal healthcare?

All bums will be able to get colonoscopies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/conundrumbombs
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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This is a universal problem.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elarandra
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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This was at universals mythos and the food was amazing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharkzarecool
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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A Chinese chef in Milan creating a pun of a Japanese food... Puns are truly the Universal language!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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They recently decided on a universal currency

They call it Starbucks

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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It's a USB: A Universal CEREAL Bus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ObamaCare2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2017
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I got a universal remote for Christmas. This changes everything. reddit.com/r/dadjokes/com…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I bought a universal small pointed tool used for piercing holes

awl for one and one for awl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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I guess dad jokes are universal, just got dad joked by my foreign language penpal

I have a penpal from Spain I talk to a lot. Today we were chatting on Google Chat in English, and the topic of whether or not sea lions were dangerous came up.

Me: okay google says "sea lion saves man" has 976,000 results

Her: that man has sinked so many times

Edit: Bonus, she continued laughing at her own joke.

Her: hahahahaha

Her: i cant stop laughing

Her: it was so bad joke

Her: hahaha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/digbybare
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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If you can't find your universal remote does that mean you've lost all control?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stillbourne
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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It has been thought that Jesus had type O blood, the universal blood type...

He bled for everyone.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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I just found out the galaxy's universal currency.

Starbucks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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Serious question about the Universal Canadian health care...

Does it cover poutine check ups?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aquatrout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
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There is alot of controversy about universal sign language in the deaf community

However they aren't very vocal about it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedoomfulldome
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2016
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I really can't wait to get my universal remote.

It'll change everything!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RanierVonCroy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
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Today I got a universal remote

'wow this changes everything'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wastedxp
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
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On a trip to Universal Studios

This was quite a while ago, I was probably in middle school (currently 26). My family took a quick day trip to Universal Studios Hollywood since we live in the greater LA area. Now to set the scene, my dad is a native of Mexico but has lived here since his late teens so his English is pretty good with a tinge of an accent since Spanish is his primary language. We park in the parking garage on property and we do the usual "make a mental note of where we parked for later". That's when I see a smirk come across his face as he turns to me laughing under his breath.

-"What's so funny?"

-"Notice where we parked?"

-"Yeah. Jurassic Park lot, 3B"

Cue dad

-"Jurassic Park..." half expecting me to laugh. He continues "Jurassic Park... Jurr-Ass-is-Parked"

facepalm

As terrible as it was at the time, I've tried to pull this joke out with friends years later, eye rolls and crickets. Thanks dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lpmark04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
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Dad joked on the way to Universal Studios Florida

Driving up to the amusement park and pass a sign reading "Universal Parking."
Dad says, "do you think this is the parking for everybody?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K_Fred
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2014
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Tere should be a universal currency

It's common cents!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zxorac
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2014
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Everything was fine until I got a universal remote

It changed everything

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AshamedTurtwig
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I got a universal remote for Christmas. This changes everything.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucidus_somniorum
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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The first time I bought a universal remote control...

...I thought to myself "This changes everything."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself "Well, this changes everything"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Got a universal remote for my Birthday.

Well, this changes everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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The other day I brought myself a universal remote and thought to myself well this changes everything.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashwinvias
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2018
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought: "Well this changes everything!"
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hakced
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2016
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When I first got my universal remote I thought

This changes everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommyBVT
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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The first time I got a universal remote control

I thought to myself, "This changes everything!"

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMEI21
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The first time I got a universal remote controller, I thought to myself...

This changes everything!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I just bought a universal remote.

This changes everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toxicdreamland
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2016
🚨︎ report
I remember when the universal remote first came out

My first thought was: β€œWell, this changes everything”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johannes_Cabal_NA
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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The wife bought a universal remote for the house.

I said to her "well this changes everything!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrewscool101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
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I remember the first time I got a universal remote. I thought, this changes everything.
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote.

My first thought was "well, this changes everything!"

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clambake42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
🚨︎ report
I just received my first universal remote.

This changes everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supremecrafters
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2015
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I remember the first time I saw a Universal Remote.

I thought to myself "Well... this changes everything!"

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clambake42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2014
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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote...

I thought to myself, "this changes everything!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carbon480
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2013
🚨︎ report

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