I did my navigation task and it lead me straight to you...❀️❀️❀️
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hustle_champ
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Did some tasks on the wife’s β€œto do” list;

Wife: (being sweet) thank you! What am I ever gonna do without you?

Me: Everything! Without me, you’re gonna have to do everything on that list.

Wife: groans and rolls eyes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasherjim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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Or a taxing task xD
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/00harman00
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Task at hand
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tofupupp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Task failed succesfully.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randompigeon3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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I always thought that organizing the Amsterdam Light Festival would be a heavy task

But it turns out to be quite light

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GijsHuisman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Manager. Task manager.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ndvarn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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What did the chicken do when presented with a difficult task?

It chickened out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musterner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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What is the first thing an astronomer does to complete a task?

They planet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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What do you call people who complete their tasks in time and have no trouble with deadlines?

Anticrastinators

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charlesmgb5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Anybody who can complete tasks atop the surface of their lower kitchen cabinets is...

...counter productive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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What is a comedian’s favorite task before a party?

To set up the punch!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterMotion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2018
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In one of my statistics classes, we were given a task to measure and analyze the fumes coming from tailpipes of various cars and to track their environmental impact.

It was exhausting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sum_buddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2017
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What the greatest task a baker needs to achieve?

To become a....toastmaster.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elmaninho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2016
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πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mosqua
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2016
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What do you call a boat that really concentrates on a task?

Laser-focused.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alienwars
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
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Why did Karen press CTRL + ALT +DEL?

She wanted the task manager

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CyberSARL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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I was tasked to come up with a great pun for a new launch of Microsoft Office, I thought I’d come up with a great one.

But my publisher told me that word games are not what I excel at.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T33NW01F
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Keep it safe from him.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tway_UX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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My boss said to me, β€œYou are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”

I said, β€œI’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aromipesa
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
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What is Karen's favourite keyboard shortcut?

Ctrl,shift,esc.

(Task manager shortcut)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_world_thin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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At camp this year, I had to ring a small bell right at daybreak...

It was a dawn ting task.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
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So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...

So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loam_Lion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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BBQ humour

If you have ever put together a new BBQ, you know how bad the instructions can be. Yesterday, my wife and I struggled through the horrible task. When we finally figured out the last complicated step, I exclaimed β€œYes! Now we’re cooking with gas.”
She actually smiled at that one, which is rare when I make Dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saskatoonbaldguy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Number wars, a dad joke story.

6 couldn't believe it. 7 had finally gone off the deep end. 7 had long offended 6. A repeat 6 offender if you will. But this was unforgivable. 9 was his best friend. How could he do this to his best friend? How could it be that 7 ate 9?

6, filled with fury, called his friends 2 and 4. They would get even. 10 was the best friend of 7 you see. 2, 4 and 6 ate 10 to get even. They then began plotting further revenge, but 7 acted first. He gathered 1, 3 and 5 together to take down 6.

Realizing that the odds were against them, 2, 4 and 6 retreated. Their only option was to turn to 12 who had twice the resources 6 had. 7 couldn't follow.

12 quickly called 3 to find out what the root of 7's attack on 9. 3 wasn't sure. He had only supported 7 because of a long standing friendship. But 3 promised to get to the root cause.

Meanwhile, 7's scheming was not yet done. 12 was powerful, but there was one who could reverse his decision to harbor 6. If he could just convince 21, nicknamed blackjack, to reverse 12's decision, it would all be over.

Three times 7 went to 21's compound. On the third try he was able to get through. After explaining that 6 had masterminded the elimination of 10, a grand meeting of the numbers was called.

Both 6 and 7 argued over the whole thing. 13 had the unlucky task of adjudicating the meeting. Each time 13 made an argument, 6 and 7 would add to it by shouting over each other.

Finally, 21 had had enough. "7, why did you eat 9"

7 responded "I just wanted to get 3 square meals." 21 had 7 eliminated for initiating the battle and 6 jailed for masterminding 10's death. And the war was over.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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In honour of Julius Caesar I was tasked to design a new statue of him

So I came, I sawed, I coloured

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Let’s go play on our bikes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otherwiseaaron
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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Clowns are really good at multi-tasking.

Juggling different things at once is in their blood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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I dropped the perfect terrible pun at work last winter...

So there were 6 of us...

With freezing rain pouring down on us at the end of a long work day, and in the middle of a daunting task- pulling underground cables, linking four transformers together (a task where something goes wrong about 50% of the time)

There is a jet line (pulling line) attached to the head of the cable being ran, and as we are nearing completion I hear my foreman (standing at the endpoint) yell "THE JET LINE IS FRAYING!!!".

Without pause I scream back "I was a FRAYED this would happen!"

The tension on the line ceases, and I look around and see 5 blank expressions just staring back at me.

Best day of my comedic life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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I would like to personally thank this sub.

Every morning when I email my team their daily tasks, I include a joke from this sub. and I appreciate you all so I can try to make everyone laugh a little before rough work at a hospital. So thanks dads!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndlandwickett
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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My friend was tasked to create a fabric which doesn't wear out.

He's a top scientist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/354hamtaro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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I need help from all the dads out there...

You are tasked with making an advertisement for an amusement park, however you want to make it to STOP people from coming to the carnival... I'm curious to see your advertisements, also try to keep the jokes under 50 words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brilliance79
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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A friend of mine was telling me about her first day working at a zoo...

When she arrived at the zoo she went to see her manager and asked what she should do, the manager told her to first go feed the sharks, so she went off to feed them. Whilst she was shovelling the food into the pool a shark jumped out of the water and tried to bite her, as a reflex she hit the shark with the spade and the shark died. Worried about losing her job this soon the woman started brainstorming what to do, eventually she decided to feed the dead shark to the lions thereby removing all evidence and so that is what she did. Shaken but glad she had avoided detection the women went back to see her manager and asked if there was anything else that needed doing, she was told to go and clean out the monkey cage.. So off the woman went with a wheelbarrow and shovel to clean out the cage, as she was shovelling the poop into the barrow a monkey jumped down from the tree towards her! As a reflex reaction the women smashed the monkey with the spade and it lay dead. Thankfully she knew just what to do and so she threw the monkey into the lion cage. Shaken and ready to go home by now, the women went to see if there were any final jobs that needed doing: she was tasked with collecting the honey from the bees. So she got changed into her protective gear however she forgot to tuck in the back of her shirt so when it came to doing the bees, one particularly large bee came and stung her right on the behind! The woman screamed and started whacking the bees until many lay dead. By now she didn’t even have to think.. she collected the dead bees and threw them in the lion cage before going home for a quiet evening.

The next day there was a new lion in the lion cage. The new lion said to the other lions β€œso what’s the food like here??” The other lions responded...

β€œActually it’s quite good. Yesterday we had FISH, CHIMPS and MUSHY BEES!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SidB_22
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What did the baked couch potato do when the game console locked up?

He pressed the russet button, of course.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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We should call Ctrl + Shift + Escape shortcut on windows the "Karen shortcut"

Cause it lets you speak to Task Manager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socra16
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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I said to my kids, "Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do!"

"Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf...but he didn't listen!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2017
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Help Requested from the Reddit Pun community

I am tasked with naming an informational medical podcast about Overactive Bladder. Wanting a fun - pun type name for this. So far the best I’ve come up with is β€œUrine the Know”. TIA Reddit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tysenburg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
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After graduating from high school, my daughter moved away from home to study at university. She sent this letter home to me…

Dear Dad,

University i$ really great.

I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply Β’an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, your $usie.

I immediately replied back…

Dear Susie,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy.

Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?

She wanted the Task Manager.

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Why did Karen press CTRL + Alt + Delete?

She wanted the Task Manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ALizardKing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Why did Karen press Shift-Control-Escape on her PC?

She wanted to see the Task Manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyberentomology
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Why did Karen press ctrl+alt+delete?

She wanted to talk to the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelletjeN
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Alt+Del

She wanted to see the task manager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killiomankili
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why Did Karen Push Ctrl + Alt + Delete?

She wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TenderJello
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Why did the Karen press ctrl+alt+del?

She wanted to see the task manager

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJVpower
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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