What do you call someone with, a sextant, a stetson, a saxophone and a syringe?

A rooting tooting shooting cowboy.

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👤︎ u/Vesurel
📅︎ Jun 07 2020
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I went to Hell for burning a Bible and shooting up the ashes with a syringe.

I guess I shouldn't have taken the Lord's name in vein.

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👤︎ u/JoeFas
📅︎ Jan 19 2020
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Why did an angry, violent, antisocial student bring a drug syringe to class?

He wanted to shoot up the school.

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📅︎ Sep 11 2018
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Clubbers in Barnsley are using dental syringes to inject liquid Ecstacy directly into their mouths.

A dangerous process known as 'E by Gum'

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📅︎ Mar 25 2019
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What part of a syringe is the most dependant of the other parts?

The need-le.

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👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Jan 27 2019
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What are syringes that float in space called?

You shall be blown.

It's A-STEROID

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📅︎ May 26 2018
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I have a heroin habit and call my lucky syringe "The Lord's Name"...

I take it in vein.

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👤︎ u/HONKDADDY
📅︎ Nov 09 2017
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Joke I came up with today

So this surgeon always posts pictures of the masks he wears during his surgery on Instagram. He does this every single time he has a surgery, and his nurses can never understand why. Eventually, he garners a massive following on Instagram. So, he goes into his supervisor's room, and he says, "Hello, it's a pleasure to see you". The supervisor says, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" The surgeon says, "Well, my Instagram business is really taking off. I think it would be better for me to quit being a surgeon and focus on Instagram full time". The supervisor thinks he's a little crazy but decides to let him do what he wants. The former surgeon now goes and buys as many masks as he can to sustain his Instagram account. Eventually, he becomes so wealthy that he is able to buy all these lavish things and not have to worry about economic failure. However, one day, he decides to begin posting pictures of medical needles on his Instagram account instead of masks at about the same time that he g

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Aug 26 2020
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My wife said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said no

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Mar 31 2019
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To get an anti-vaxxer's kid vaccinated...

...we could go up to their house, find an open window and vaccinate the kid using a 10 foot syringe.

I know it's a long shot.

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📅︎ Jul 12 2020
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My son had an ingrown toenail treated.

The doctor's office was associated with the local medical college, so there were a couple of med students watching the senior doctor work on my son's toe. He loaded up a syringe with anesthetic and injected in multiple places, explaining that he was doing this to achieve digital blocking (that is, numbing the entire digit, namely the toe).

After it was done they left the nurse to bandage my son up, and he said, "Dad? What did he mean by digital blocking?"

"Well, when you weren't looking he hooked your toe up to a USB port and downloaded some MP3s into it. If you hold your foot close to your ear you can hear "Laaaaa, aaaaa aa aaaaah, close to you.""

The nurse stared at me and turned to my son. "Is he always like this?"

He silently nodded, looking at the floor...

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👤︎ u/oldforger
📅︎ Jul 20 2015
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He claims it was unintentional... but I laughed

Was working in the medical field today, helping a coworker put in 30ish individually wrapped syringes into a bag. They weren't put in the best orientation and required slight bit of pressure to close fully.

I told him to be careful even though there are caps on the syringes.

He responds: "I see your point."

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👤︎ u/Kuebic
📅︎ May 13 2017
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My wife said "nothing rhymes with orange"

I said "No it doesn't"

👍︎ 11k
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📅︎ Aug 16 2018
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My wife just said, "Nothing rhymes with orange"

I said, "no it doesn't"

👍︎ 2k
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📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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