Plunger Puns

He has been dealing with a lot of shit lately and is trying to bring it up.

She is very good in bringing up old shit.

They’ve been through a lot of shit.

It was a lot shittier.

Me: Looks like someone was trying to unclog traffic.

Last time I leave the plunger in the toilet .

A plunger

So he took the plunger.

They put a plunger in the toilet.

So my wife and I went to Great Floors looking for tile and generally getting an idea of what we want to finish our basement bathroom and family room with.

The saleswoman points us to this vinyl plank stuff I've never seen before that you just lay down with no glue or anything that is somehow completely waterproof and lifetime guaranteed and all that jazz. She shows us how you need to use a plunger to pry them back up once they are all tight together.

Me. "Wow, I never would have thought this could work.... I'm floored."

In the ensuing groan fest the saleswoman claims to have never heard that one before, I jested that she sounded knowledgeable for someone who obviously hasn't been working in the business very long.

Dad comes out of the bathroom and grabs the plunger. me: Having trouble in there? Dad: Yea the darn thing won't flush me: Oh that sucks Dad: no! that's the problem! me: face-palm

she asked if we had a plunger anywhere, I looked around the house and couldn't seem to find one. I couldn't contain myself when I had to tell her she was "shit out of luck".

I can't wait to have kids. I have dad jokes for days.

After Thanksgiving dinner at Walmart looking for plunger

Dad: Where can we get a plunger?

Walmart Employee: Right this way!

Dad: Thank you! We had a big Thanksgiving meal.

Me: shakes head