Swapping Puns

I told him she was decorating for Halloween, and they both just gave me a flat look. Then with a grin on my face I simply said bamBOO!! Much to my wife’s dismay my 6 year old has been repeating it for the last 20 minutes.

He said "penne for your thoughts"

No one took me seriously when I said jk lmao

They haven’t noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.

a transplant

So I guess Sharon is Karen

My wife hit the roof

I can’t believe the currant exchange rate

You could say it was a quick change of plants

Me: "Hey dad, hypothetically, if the world suddenly ran out of beer, what would you do?"

Dad: "I'd probably swap to pandas."

Me: "Is ... is that like a type of cider?"

Dad: "No, it's a black and white animal."

Me: "Dad? There aren't any pandas in New Zealand?"

Dad: "Well, there's no bears either."

He walks up to the counter and says "I'll swap this root vegetable for everything in the library"

Well, that was a turnip for the books.

A holyday

Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."

First she hit the roof, then the light, then the roof again.

He became trans-parent.

Now it starts with OBCD.

Which is one more than eight. I feel this has to have been part of the name creation. “We’ll do you one better than terminate, we’ll termiNINE”.

He always helps me with maps and diagrams, pointing out all the little symbols and what they mean.

.... the Lion said “ I’m game!”.

He tells jokes periodically

Edit: spelling

I get pie with a little spelt from my friends!

It was a Total Recall.

She looked surprised.

Can I swap you for the aisle seat?

Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in.

Even between the laughing and joking, the women in front of me insisted that we swap places, so I could get mine first.

I thought to myself at last a decent punchline

It's true: I have no patients.

but a leper never changes its tots.

(My dad made this up when we visited Spinalonga in about 1998...its one of his all time classics. I only remember the punchline so I made up the first bit and its not historically true.)

So I went to the hospital that he was born at, and proceed to swap him with another baby.

You swap two letters and your whole post is urined.

Last night, 12:30AM:

What did Hamlet say to Ophelia when she made a bad joke?

"Get thee to a punnery!"

I told her it's definitely growing on me!

They tried swapping the rulers for erasers but it remained stationary.

Old McDonald's Server Farm
Very high I/O
And on that farm he had some space
Very high I/O
With a hot swap here and a hot swap there
Here a disk
There a disk
Everywhere a RAID disk
Old McDonald's Server Farm
Very high I/O

If you got divorced because of a broccoli argument (long story) and a month after the divorce you notice your ex in the supermarket, and she has a produce bag full of broccoli crowns in her shopping cart, and you sneak up while she's not looking and swap the bag of crowns for a bag of stalks, can you be charged with stalking?

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

Swap out the 't' for an 'i'

She hit the roof

The wife hit the roof.

My wife hit the roof.

I can't believe the currant exchange rate!

I cannot believe the currant exchange rate

I can't believe the currant exchange rate.

She is completely trans-parent.