Paging

I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.

This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.

Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)

Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey

Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe

Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure

Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)

Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl

Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec

Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin

Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette

Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader

Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki

Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish

Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank

Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo

Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia

Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis

Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni

Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium

Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon

Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester

Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia

Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan

Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff

Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous

Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni

Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur

Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera

Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple

Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino

Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter

Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia

Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone

Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark

Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki

Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery

Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric

Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank

Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma

Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass

Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella

Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe

Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa

Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente

Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda

Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike

Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum

Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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A front page pun
πŸ‘︎ 861
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcm980
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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I bought a thesaurus but when I opened it all the pages were blank

I had no words to describe how angry I was

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simszter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Went to a fish and chip shop shop that served the food on old atlas pages instead of newspaper.

A bit odd but it really put that plaice on the map.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/donttakethechip
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
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I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'

The result was 'This page cannot be found.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExtraSure
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I finally bought the limited edition Thesaurus that I've always wanted. When I opened it, all the pages were blank

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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If you spell the words β€œAbsolutely Nothing” backwards, you get β€œGnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means...

Absolutely nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTripleH
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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Did you hear Elliott Page wrote a book about him changing his pronoun?

It's a Page-turner...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Babbadooka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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I've written a stage representation of a story in which all lines are puns, and the stage is covered with the pages of a dictionary...

It's a play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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Today, my son asked, β€œCan I have a bookmark?”

I burst into tears. 12 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Saw this on sarcasm page on Facebook
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mfalme7
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
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The right way of flirting
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AligatorKS
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster

It's just a draft at the moment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyCatsAreDumb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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My friend claims the he accidentally glued himself to his autobiography, but I don’t believe him.

But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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I wonder if they'll write a book about Ellen Page's transformation into Elliot

They should.

It'll be a real Page-turner!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abhishekms89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.

It's a Languedoc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notBjoern
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...

It must have been the delivery...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I created the world’s first bulletproof vest using pages from recycled books

I call it Plot Armor β„’

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, I’m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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OK here we go. Soap this gets to the front page...
πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/electrocuter666
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Found on The Chef’s Circle Facebook page
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/financiallyflutey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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I had a friend in the publishing industry who made calendars, but I had to end our friendship

He was always getting hung up on little things, and telling me that our days were numbered. I've turned the page.

I hear he's dating someone now though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runawaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I am having a really bad day, somebody ripped the front and back pages out of my dictionary.

It just goes from Bad to Worse!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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β€œIs this the Spanish word for β€˜nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.

β€œSi, estΓ‘.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SDM0102
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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I came home to find out that one of my kids tore both the front and the back pages of our dictionary.

Things just went from bad to worse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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Tootsie Pops finally got into the 21st century and created a Facebook page. With it, they created a new catchphrase.

How many likes does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Here's my 2 scents on the puns page.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yaths17
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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I swallowed a dictionary today.

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon.

Neil before me.

πŸ‘︎ 27k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mooshoopork4
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Some idiot posted a Chinese telephone directory through my door...

It was full of Wong numbers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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So far I've memorized seven pages of this dictionary;

I've learned next to nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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What's new?

The past tense of snow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherrymacc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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A book my son is reading. Nothing but fart jokes/puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/epona14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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My wife said, β€œWhy don’t you write a book instead of your stupid word play jokes?”

I said, β€œThat’s.....a novel idea.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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Orcas are love spouting and accepting homosexuwhales
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartianGlassner
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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The local paper ran a front page article about offering a large print edition to be more accessible.

Apparently it was big news.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave7243
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I have lost my serving boy

The page cannot be found.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HecticBooty13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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What page does this appear on?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I was so bored sitting at home that I memorized six pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 979
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

πŸ‘︎ 196
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2020
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I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Just bought a thesaurus and got home to find out the pages are all blank!

I have no words to describe how angry I am...

πŸ‘︎ 437
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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalmarky82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I was so bored over quarantine that I memorized 6 pages of the dictionary

I learned next to nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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I was so bored that I memorized 6 pages of a dictionary

I learned next to nothing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sexxc
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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The other day, I bought a thesaurus. When I got home, I opened it up and all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how angry I am.
πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5c077_fr33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
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