I asked my friend how he’s finding work as an elevator attendant
He says it has it ups and downs.
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?
I asked the movie theater attendant for one admission.
He said he liked wearing his wife’s shoes when she wasn’t home.
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
I don't know why the beautiful attendant at Ikea reported me to the police.
All I asked was "How much for one night stand ?"
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said "see you later, son". I said indignantly, "don't call me 'son', you're not my dad!"
... To which the lift attendant replied, "Maybe not, but I brought you up, didn't I?"
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
What did the casino's elevator attendant say after a cow left the elevator?
Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
The Flight Attendant kept making jokes...
But none of them seem to have landed.
I asked a parking attendant if I could park on a road.
Parking attendant: you can't park here.
Me: But all these other cars parked here.
Parking attendant: they didn't ask.
I ran out of my Omega 3 supplement so I went to the store. The attendant was rude and threw the bottle at me as hard as he could
Fortunately, my injuries were super fish oil
I'm going to get a job as a valet attendant, come dressed up as Spider-Man, and introduce myself as "Peter the Parker"
I went to B&Q the other day; the shop attendant asked me if i wanted decking
So i turned round and punched him first.
What did John Fogerty say when the flight attendant told him they were overbooked for First Class seats?
I requested the flight attendant to switch my seat as I was next to a screaming baby.
Apparently you are not allowed to do that if the baby is yours.
What did the peanut say to the flight attendant?
Ugh, I hate flying, I never have enough legume
At the museum, I turned to the attendant and said, “I suppose this horrible thing is what you call Modern Art, right!”
Attendant: Sir, that’s a mirror.
My buddy got a job as a flight attendant
He's really moving up in the world.
Flight attendant was a wise guy
"Sorry about the rough landing, it wasn't the captain's fault, it certainly wasn't my fault, it was the asphalt"
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
On my way back from Thanksgiving holiday, the flight had to make a slightly hard landing due to the crosswind. Then the flight attendant announces: " Sorry for the slightly bumpy landing. It wasn't the Captain's fault, most definitely not the my fault...
It was the Asphalt."
The whole flight lost it. It was glorious :)
And man is on a plane, and asks to a flight attendant :
"Excuse me, how long will it take before we arrive at our destination?"
The attendant responds : "Just one minute sir"
"Wow! That's really fast"
He enjoyed his new job as a flight attendant on a Transgalactic Express ship. He enjoyed the variety of species & sentients he got to meet. Except for the Plort, who ate large quantities of raw dead flesh.
They always made him put their carrion overhead.
My flight attendant today told a lot of unfunny jokes that no one laughed at
I don't think his stand-up career is ever gonna take off.
I was at a baseball game standing next to an ice machine when an attendant says
I know you guys are trying to be cool but I need to get to the ice
She has an interview as a flight attendant.
When she asked me to RSVP for +1 at a wedding this summer:
Well if all goes well, your availability will be up in the air.
As I got on the 51st floor, the elevator attendant said ''see you later, son I said indignantly, ''don't call me 'son' you're not my dad!''
To which the lift attendant replied:
"Maybe not, but I brought you up
didn't l?"
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
If Spiderman was a valet attendant how would he introduce himself?
Hi, I'm Peter the Parker.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
