I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, “Do you want to hear today’s special?”
I said, “Yes please.”
Waiter: “No problem sir. Today is special.”
Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.
Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
My waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.
I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."
How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant.
Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"
"Waiter, this boiled egg tastes funny"
"Don't ask me madam. I only laid the table. "
Just got a new job as a waiter.
The pay isn’t great, but it puts food on the table.
I asked my waiter how they prepare their chicken…
“Nothing special,” they said, “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What did the duck say to the waiter?
A sunflower walked into a restaurant around noon. The waiter asks "where would you like to sit?"
"by the window," the sunflower responded. "I'm only here for a light meal."
What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?
The waiter pillar is very nice, 5 starr
I went to a restaurant and when I sat down the waiter asked "comfortable"?
So the customer asks the chef if anyone orders steak raw and the waiter replied ‘yeh but that’s rare’
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
What does the penguin waiter says?
What do waiters and DJ’s have in common?
Their job is to turn tables.
Waiter: "Would you like to hear today's Special?"
Customer: "Yes, please."
Waiter: "Today IS special. Very special."
You can say what you want about waiters
but they do bring a lot to the table.
Waiter, I’ll have a blind soda
Why did the egg tip the waiter
Because the food was eggcellent
I wasn't cut out to be a waiter....
The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.
“That’s a naan-starter” I told him.
What did the Eastern European waiter say to the customer when he asked where the food was?
I’ll Serb you shortly sir.
(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)
After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"
What did the Nordic man say to the waiter when he was done his meal?
The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, “you wanna box for those leftovers?”
I replied, “No, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”
[First day as a waiter] Me: How would you like your steak?
Customer: Well done.
Me: Thanks. That’s nice of you, I’m really nervous.
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
When you wait for the waiter, you become the waiter
Recently got a job as a waiter
It’s not great, but it puts food on the table
A waiter once asked me: “Do you wanna box for your leftovers?”
I said: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”
What did the customer say to the waiter when he asked if he preferred this type of meal?
Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftover food?
Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.
I always give good tips to my waiters
"be nice to your customers"
I wanna go spend a few weeks working a waiter in Vietnam so I can tell my kids I served in 'Nam.
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.
The waiter responds “It’s tap quality”
I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.
I said "No, that's the last thing I want"
The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for the leftovers...
So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.
The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,
"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"
The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,
"But sir, it's fresh ground!"
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...
"No, sir, that's un oeuf."
Why do waiters like people who fall over gracefully?
Just got a new job as a waiter
it's not great but it puts food on the table.