The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, โ€œyou wanna box for those leftovers?โ€

I replied, โ€œNo, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 73
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/absolriven
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Recently got a job as a waiter

Itโ€™s not great, but it puts food on the table

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JBRali
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 17
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When you wait for the waiter, you become the waiter
๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MarshmelloFan135
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
[First day as a waiter] Me: How would you like your steak?

Customer: Well done.

Me: Thanks. Thatโ€™s nice of you, Iโ€™m really nervous.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 67
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stunner19
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I wanna go spend a few weeks working a waiter in Vietnam so I can tell my kids I served in 'Nam.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/figgerer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.

The waiter responds โ€œItโ€™s tap qualityโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chubbypants3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 16
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Repluse
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 31
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just got a new job as a waiter

it's not great but it puts food on the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Whlightning
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Good Waiter
๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Radish00
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why do waiters like people who fall over gracefully?

Because they tip well

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LMB2001
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for the leftovers...

So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/chocolate-queen
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 45
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VanillaIceCinnaMon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A waiter once asked me: โ€œDo you wanna box for your leftovers?โ€

I said: โ€œNo, but Iโ€™ll wrestle you for them!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 350
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YeetusTheFetusYT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...

"No, sir, that's un oeuf."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheChronologer1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftover food?

Dad: No thanks, but Iโ€™ll wrestle you for them.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 491
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/awburrou
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 69
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eastawat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 22
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"What's that floating in my eucalyptus tea?" I asked the waiter in one of Mercy's finer restaurants.

It turned out to be koala dung left when they hang in the trees at night. When I requested a tea sieve the waiter replied, "The Koala teas of Mercy are never strained".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Docfess
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
WAITER: are you ready to order?

DAD: Iโ€™ll have the rabbit stew

WAITER: only if you promise not to say โ€œwaiter thereโ€™s a hare in my soupโ€ after I bring it

...

DAD: Iโ€™ll have the chicken

๐Ÿ‘︎ 95
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 06
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the grim reaper say when the waiter asked what he wanted to eat?

A slice of life!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Guest to the waiter: โ€œCan you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?โ€ /r/Jokes/comments/ewmnrv/โ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BenderDeLorean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A colony of bacteria walks into a bar. Waiter tells them they're not welcome.

The bacteria say, "But we're staph!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Onechordbassist
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Interviewer: So why do you think youโ€™d be a good waiter?

Well, I can bring a lot to the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 23
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/r_person
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was waiting for a long time at the restaurant. The waiter came and said; sorry for your wait...

I said: are you calling me fat?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bringojackprot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Manager: "Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?"

Me: "I bring a lot to the table."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JoeFas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you look for when hiring a waiter?

Someone who can bring a lot to the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dgadirector
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Waiter Said: Want a brochure?

The Customer Said: Bro Sure.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sunshine_Goody
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter asked how I like my steak.

I said like winning a argument with my wife.

Waiter said rare it is.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/oxfordthethird
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Do you want a box for your leftovers?

No. But I'll wrestle you for them.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 67
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: how would you like your tea?

Me: Between S and U if you donโ€™t mind. Or maybe I have it backward. Letโ€™s just keep it between US

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mfitzy87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 05
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Do you wanna box for the leftover?

Me: No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ArshmanR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call it when a waiter brings you the wrong meal?

A server error

๐Ÿ‘︎ 51
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/school-yeeter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does Batman say when the waiter offers him water at a restaurant?

โ€œIโ€™ll have just iceโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dylanor11
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
But I wonder what they really do when we tell the waiter to give compliments to the chef
๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Devanshi1618
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: your soup Me: no I'm not
๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PapaEggo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Right after we sat down for dinner, the waiter said, โ€œWould you like to hear todayโ€™s special?โ€

I said, โ€œYes please, thanks.โ€

The waiter responded: Today is special.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man is at a job interview and the interviewer asks him โ€œSo why do you think youโ€™d make a good waiterโ€ and the man replied โ€œWell, I think I could bring a lot to the tableโ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 69
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CHEEZY_21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
An Australian chess player went into a restaurant and ordered food. After having his food , the waiter asked him "Cash or Credit , Sir?"

He said "Cheque , mate"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PanPitza
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Had a horrible experience dining out last night. The waiter made us eat our spaghetti with a spoon.

I complained to the owner, but even she didnโ€™t give a fork.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cynid3
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"

The Waiter whispers: "Quiet down, or everyone will want one"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShaolinFantastic420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter said to me, โ€œI just want to let you know that kids eat for free.โ€

I exclaimed, โ€œGood! Iโ€™ll take a water and some chicken nuggets and my daughter will have a steak and a kids Bud Light.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 43
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Iโ€™m glad you enjoyed your dinner. How did you find the steak?

Me: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter brought our food to the table. He placed my delicious-looking fajita plate in front of me and said, "Careful, this is gonna be hot"

So I asked him, "When?"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CactusPearl21
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was served by a one armed waiter once

Youโ€™ve got to hand it to him

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BigWaveSmallOcean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was at a sandwich restaurant once. I got a meat and cheese sandwich, and when the waiter asked me what kind of meat I wanted, I pointed to his knee. He didn't know what I meant, so I left.

I guess he did understand that I wanted bologna.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sweatysharkballs69
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
For dessert the waiter brought me tiramisu and a small, blind-folded horse

I said โ€œno, mascarpone!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/battshooot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you say to the waiter who takes forever to bring your fancy pastry?

โ€œHey!! Torte us!!!!!!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/boogerknows
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When the waiter asked me what I wanted to drink, I told him a glass of water please.

Straight away he replies "still water sir?"

Yeah, like I'm suddenly going to change my mind.

Honestly, customer service these days.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RHOrpie
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man asks the waiter, "Excuse me, how do you prepare your chicken?"

The waiter responds, "Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Perrin42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Soup or Salad?

Me: Dad please no this is not the time Dad: Well I donโ€™t want a super salad, I want a regular salad

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Wes101ley
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do Australian waiters, basketball players, and chess players have in common?

"Check mate"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/The14thGender
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad....

Does it come with window dressing?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weirdgroovynerd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whatโ€™d the manager say when a waiter dropped three plates in one night?

This is really getting out of hand

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Texas_OT
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: I see your glass is empty. Would you like another?

Dad: What would I do with two empty glasses?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 17
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Chateau512
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Yes sir, it's fresh ground!

EDIT: taken from Jokeriot

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/keithasaurus
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was eating at a restaurant and a waiter comes up to me and asks: "How did I find the steak?"

I told him I looked underneath the parsley.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NairodI
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just got offered a job as a Waiter

It's probably because I can bring a lot to the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 105
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/newkyd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When a waiter goes swimming
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bizlizzilzib
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Be careful, the plate is really hot.

You: No worries. I'm not really attracted to plates.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the duck say to the waiter?

Quack Quack.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/clawdninehehe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Interviewer asked me if I'd be a good waiter...

Well, you could say I bring a lot to the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Burritoman_209
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 03 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
When I was done with my food the waiter asked if I want the bill

I said no then left

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Muggz_s
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: โ€œHowโ€™s your chicken?โ€

Dad: โ€œNot good. I think it might be dead.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftovers?

Dad: No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ocm_ute
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did dad return the rabbit stew to the waiter

There was a hare in it

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/RCRadioCarbon
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!

Waiter: But it was ground this morning.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/visionweaver
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
"Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?"

"It's swimming, sir"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nafetsg
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the German waiter say halfway through the meal?

Cheer up. The wรผrst is yet to come!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MrPink2112
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter at a restaurant asks โ€œyou finish?โ€

โ€œNo, Iโ€™m danishโ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DavidWigh
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Super Hero Waiter

What did the Super Hero Waiter serve to the Vegan Villain? Just-ice

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NIKBOL42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Being a waiter is hard. The hours are long, the pay is low.

But at least it puts food on the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 354
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter gave me a ribeye that I didnโ€™t order

It was a mis-steak

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/paoerfuuul
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I asked the waiter if they had any slices of cake

He said they ran out, but they have 2 slices of cookie dough

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PregnantMosquito
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
(Right after dinner) Waiter: So how did you find your steak, sir?

Me: wasnโ€™t too difficult. It was right next to the potatoes.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 71
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did the waiter say when a man blamed him for losing his magazine?

Sorry sir we are not responsible for lost any articles.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LemonWedgeTheGuy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was on a date and said to the waiter โ€œI would love the bo-log-nayz and a white wine.โ€ Laughing my date said โ€œI didnโ€™t know you spoke another language.โ€

I replied, โ€œyeah, Iโ€™m trylingual.โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sr_ChalupaBatman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My dwarf friend wasnโ€™t doing too well on his job as a waiter and got fired.

He was struggling to put food on the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 44
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The waiter asked me if I wanted a soup or salad

I said, "Of course! Who wouldn't want a crime-fighting head of lettuce!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gooncraw
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At a restaurant, right after finishing my steak dinner. Waiter: So how did you find the steak, sir?

Me: Very easily. It was right next to the potatoes.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 70
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A couple sits down at a restaurant and the waiter brings them a basket of bread

The guy asks the waiter "Excuse me, is this gluten free?"

The waiter responds "Well it's complimentary as long as you order an entree"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/irlingStarcher
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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I forgot to tip the waiter today

I left a restaurant about an hour ago and thought to myself "I didn't tip the waiter,Larry!!" So I had to drive all the way back. It's a long way to tip a Larry.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stupidboy0
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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I love meeting waiters.

They always bring something to the table.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 26
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/appioneer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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What did the Aussie say to the waiter after winning his chess match?

Check mate!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
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โ€œWaiter, this coffee tastes like MUD!โ€

โ€œOh really? Well, it was GROUND this morning.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mc1nc4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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A raven walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks, would you like soups or salads?

Broth, the raven, nevermore

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fiddlethesticks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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What did the waiter say when I finished my bowl of ramen?

Udon?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DaDreamForger
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
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Whenever the waiter/waitress asks if they can take our plates.

"Sure, they were yours to begin with!"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 86
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ChaoticFather
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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What do waiters do when there are no customers?

They wait

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/defa90
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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Why did the waiter get fired for taking food back to the kitchen?

Because he de-served it.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nal0x0ne
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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After dinner, I asked the waiter, โ€œWould you mind getting the check for me?โ€

Waiter: Sure, sir. No problem.

Me: Thanks a lot. Iโ€™m really broke.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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Heard this as a waiter

Myself: excuse sir would you care for a tea or coffee Customer: sure, how often will I have to feed it?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pavlovdaze
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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Waiter: Would you like to hear todayโ€™s special?

Me: Yes please.

Waiter: Sure. Today is special.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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"Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud?"

"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 449
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/johnnydarko-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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