I sat down for dinner at a restaurant, and the waiter asked me, β€œDo you want to hear today’s special?”

I said, β€œYes please.”

Waiter: β€œNo problem sir. Today is special.”

Edit: You guys are way too generous. Thank you.

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13
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Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?

Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09
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My waiter asked me if I wanna box for my leftovers.

I said, "No but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Son_of_Biyombo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09
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How did you find your steak?" asked the waiter of a patron in the very expensive restaurant.

Just luck," the hungry man replied, sadly. "I happened to move that small piece of potato, and there it was!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29
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"Waiter, this boiled egg tastes funny"

"Don't ask me madam. I only laid the table. "

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25
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Just got a new job as a waiter.

The pay isn’t great, but it puts food on the table.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08
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I asked my waiter how they prepare their chicken…

β€œNothing special,” they said, β€œWe just tell them they’re going to die.”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aayan_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04
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What did the duck say to the waiter?

Put it on my bill

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyPert
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17
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A sunflower walked into a restaurant around noon. The waiter asks "where would you like to sit?"

"by the window," the sunflower responded. "I'm only here for a light meal."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27
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What did the skeleton waiter say to his table?

Bone AppΓ©tit

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th7rtyFour
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31
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The waiter pillar is very nice, 5 starr
πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potoooooooo53
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
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I went to a restaurant and when I sat down the waiter asked "comfortable"?

I said "no, comeforfood"

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
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So the customer asks the chef if anyone orders steak raw and the waiter replied β€˜yeh but that’s rare’
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

πŸ‘︎ 149
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
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What does the penguin waiter says?

Waddle'll it be?

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
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What do waiters and DJ’s have in common?

Their job is to turn tables.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReddiTurret
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10
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Waiter: "Would you like to hear today's Special?"

Customer: "Yes, please."

Waiter: "Today IS special. Very special."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmatlack1023
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16
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You can say what you want about waiters

but they do bring a lot to the table.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21
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Waiter, I’ll have a blind soda

It means no ice

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thevoice102
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19
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Why did the egg tip the waiter

Because the food was eggcellent

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakismoki899
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31
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A Good Waiter
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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I wasn't cut out to be a waiter....

I'm not very patient.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LincLoL
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
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The waiter at our local Indian restaurant asked if I wanted bread before the meal.

β€œThat’s a naan-starter” I told him.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bullhead20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
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What did the Eastern European waiter say to the customer when he asked where the food was?

I’ll Serb you shortly sir.

(Eastern Euro joke 3/7)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkkiller1234
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food ?"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
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What did the Nordic man say to the waiter when he was done his meal?

Thanks, I’m Finnish.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JPHarrison007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25
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The waiter approached me as I finished eating and asked, β€œyou wanna box for those leftovers?”

I replied, β€œNo, I hate violence. May I just pay for it with my card?”

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/absolriven
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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[First day as a waiter] Me: How would you like your steak?

Customer: Well done.

Me: Thanks. That’s nice of you, I’m really nervous.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stunner19
πŸ“…︎ May 11
🚨︎ report
When you wait for the waiter, you become the waiter
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarshmelloFan135
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Recently got a job as a waiter

It’s not great, but it puts food on the table

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JBRali
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
A waiter once asked me: β€œDo you wanna box for your leftovers?”

I said: β€œNo, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”

πŸ‘︎ 353
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetusTheFetusYT
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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What did the customer say to the waiter when he asked if he preferred this type of meal?

Of course

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moony-7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
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Waiter: Do you wanna box for your leftover food?

Dad: No thanks, but I’ll wrestle you for them.

πŸ‘︎ 487
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awburrou
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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I always give good tips to my waiters

"be nice to your customers"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
I wanna go spend a few weeks working a waiter in Vietnam so I can tell my kids I served in 'Nam.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/figgerer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Repluse
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.

The waiter responds β€œIt’s tap quality”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chubbypants3
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
I went to a restaurant and the waiter sat me down and asked if I'd like to see a dessert menu.

I said "No, that's the last thing I want"

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eastawat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22
🚨︎ report
The waiter asked me if I wanted a box for the leftovers...

So I said, "No, but I'll wrestle you for them."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chocolate-queen
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee.

The man take a sip and spits it out. He turns to the waiter and says,

"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!"

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the man and says,

"But sir, it's fresh ground!"

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
I ordered an egg dish at a restaurant. When I finished, I asked the waiter for another one and he said...

"No, sir, that's un oeuf."

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheChronologer1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
Why do waiters like people who fall over gracefully?

Because they tip well

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LMB2001
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
Just got a new job as a waiter

it's not great but it puts food on the table.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22
🚨︎ report

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