My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
My boss told me I had to stay at home for 2 weeks after my wife bought me an espresso in bed this morning.
I mean, I only told him I woke up with a little coffee.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but due to the ongoing pandemic, would it be smart to stay at least 6ft away from the chips and dip when visiting a Mexican restaurant?
You know, Salsa Distancing.
Where does Smokey stay when he goes on vacation?
People ask me how I stay so down to earth...
I tell them the answer has certain gravity to it.
Q from our Fishkeeping Group: What does it mean if my fish stays at the bottom of the tank?
A: Maybe it's feeling a bit low...
(Got me a screenshot of my epic slayage to prove it too! https://i.imgur.com/FPCvglr.png )
Why did the phone stay home?
How do witches stay in shape?
How does Judy from Zootopia stay in shape?
She does a lot of hare-obics!
My dad adopted a puppy today and wants to name him ‘Stay’...
That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.
Where did the patient stay?
Wife: I’m trying to cut a piece of wood, but it won’t stay in place.
Husband: I recommend that you use this clamp with my company’s logo on it.
Wife: I don’t need your advise!
The gyms must stay open.
The Constitution guarantees the Freedom of the Press!
Today my friend asked me “What kinda shit would make you want to stay home all day?”
I said “Diarrhea for sure”.
Why couldn't the confederate soldier stay married?
Because he succeeded from the union
What do astronauts use to stay warm?
What's Irish and stays out all night?
I found some insects living in my apartment, but they offered me cash if I let them stay.
What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?
Doctors without boarders.
I usually stay out of politics, but - and this is a big but - ...
>!https://imgur.com/xDwJi0C!<
What kind of room do speed racers stay in?
I’m driving through England, and am supposed to stay in Greenwich for a day or two.
Not too sure what to do in the Mean Time.
I heard lots of jokes during my stay in Russia
They were so bad they should be Putin the bin
Where do Bees stay when they go on holiday? 🐝
Stay Positive
Son is working on math. Currently working on negative numbers, which is below his level (pun intended).
Wife says, "He is really bored. If you can think of anything to say to help that would be great.
Me to son, “Hey buddy, I know you are working on negative numbers and that is boring. Try to stay positive.”
Stay away from the aggressive pepper salesman...
How did women in the 16th century stay fit?
They worked their core-set
Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".
That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.
What kind of lodging do authoritative prostitutes stay at?
Fly straight and stay safe, boys
How do soldiers stay hidden in the desert?
How does the Queen (of England) stay so thin?
She keeps all her pounds in the bank.
Saw a deal earlier to stay on a canal boat but I was worried about covid situation
There's bound to be a lock down there
You can’t stay down to earth your whole life
You just wouldn’t have any potential
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said ‘stay away from fire’, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
What’s Irish, stays out all summer and goes inside in winter?
2019: stay away from negative people
2020:stay away from positive people
How else would they stay warm all winter?
Son: "Hey Dad, Happy 25th Anniversary. Jeez! Almost all my friend's parents are divorced. What did you have to do to stay married for this long?"
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