When my boys were playing ball, they accused me of spraying the ball with the watering hose. I didn't spray it.
Did you hear about the soldier who got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
Went to the shops and bought some fly spray.
Sprayed it all over me....Still can't bloody fly.
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.
It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
What did chewy spray on his best friend after he climbed out of the trash compactor?
I've invented a chloroform body spray.
Ladies are always falling for me.
I've finally given up on finding a name for my window coverings made from bug spray...
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
When you spray someone with pepper spray
Did you all hear about the drug bust at the bug spray factory?
Police said it was the greatest Raid ever!
“How much does the funny smelling spray cost?”
“Perfume?”
“No, per bottle.”
Hornet Spray
I recently went to buy some bug spray for bee problem I had. All they had was wasp and hornet spray. So I asked the cashier if it was good for bees. She said no, it's terrible for them....
It’s tough to come up with a new brand of bug spray.
You always have to start from scratch.
My friend was arrested by the cops for spray painting graffiti, and he tried to deny that he did it.
But the writing was on the wall.
I’m addicted to ordering cheap body sprays from other countries because of the smell.
I love foreign axe scents.
So I bought a large mammal repellant spray recently, and I absolutely cannot stand the smell!
What do you call it when someone dies from drinking insect spray?
To the water in my spray bottle:
Any recommendations on a bug spray?
I was almost arrested for spray painting a grocery store with my best comic sans.
Fortunately, we talked it over and agreed that I would paint over it, and the day ended sans sheriff.
I need to carry pepper spray because I keep getting assalted
Why is it called pepper spray?
My son tried to spray me with the hose
Imagine how ridiculous a skunk would be if it didn't spray...
It wouldn't make any scents!
I need some bug spray.
A guy walks into a store and asks an employee where the bug spray is.
The employee, who just so happened to be currently stocking bug spray, tells the customer it's right here.
The guy then thanks the employee but then asks him to recommend one as he is not sure which one is better.
The employee smiles, then pulls a can of bug spray off the shelf and tells the guy that this is a good one and one of their best sellers.
The guy looks unsure, so the employee asks if something is wrong with it.
The guy replies that he's not sure but it feels like something is Off about this brand.
(Explanation: there is a bug spray brand called Off)
Axe body spray (xpost /r/dndmemes)
I always used to wonder why it was called pepper spray
Then I realized it's because you can use it if you ever get asalted
Some punk just spray-painted the word “wrong” on every floor in the Empire State Building.
That’s wrong on so many levels.
What does a rusty can of spray-on rust remover smell like?
Irony
Edit: Quality puns in here folks, keep it up! Make your dads proud!
I applied so much spray deodorant in 2008 that a man suffocated.
Does that make me an Axe murderer?
Did you hear about the solider that got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?
He’s now a seasoned veteran
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
What do you call a soldier who has survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”
He said, “No, it kills them.”
Is insect spray good for wasps?
a soldier once survived pepper spray and mustard gas
he was a seasoned veteran
My soldier friend was doused with pepper spray and also survived a mustard gas attack.
Now he's a seasoned veteran.
My grandad was assaulted in the war with pepper spray and mustard gas.
The soldier who survived mustard-gas and pepper-spray....
Is now a seasoned veteran
A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police.
He's now a seasoned veteran.
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