Should've becareful of your speech
Speech correction is the first item on my...
Ah, the classic bubble speech
The man stood up after a rousing speech, took a bow and marched out triumphantly.
He was protesting against violins in schools.
The second COVID vaccine causes a speech disorder in Spanish speakers
They keep asking for dose dos
Who gave that boring speech, they asked. I admitted it was meh.
You know how Russia doesn’t like free speech.
They just won’t be Putin up with it!
A child with a speech impediment is dressed as a pirate. A man asks what are you. He says he is a birate. You mean a pirate? Yes a birate. Oh well then where are your buccaneers?
On each side of my buckin head you buckin idiot!!
I was recording my wife’s speech at her parents’ 50th wedding anniversary, but my battery died halfway through.
Now I’ll never hear the end of it.
At a conference there was the most courageous person who went by the name Sam. Before he got on the stage to deliver his impressive speech, all attendees begged him not to sing.
I support free speech
Nobody should have to pay to talk.
My friend from Paris was the best man at the wedding of a Belgian waffle heir and a Swedish pancake tycoon, but wasn’t allowed to give a speech at the reception.
They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.
Did you see Trump's speech last night?
Apparently Nancy Pelosi thought it was tearable.
Today's the day I bring my Son to weekly speech therapy..
.. easier done than said.
My friend asked me how the text-to-speech feature works on his phone, but I didn't bother explaining it to him.
My dad gave a speech at my big sisters wedding.
He had my sister put a hand in, her husband put his hand on top of hers, then she put her other hand over his, then his other hand over hers. Then he told her husband “This is the last time you’ll ever have the upper hand”
What do you call a Pokémon with a speech impediment?
Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?
Because actions speak louder than words.
VP Joe Biden announced he has hired a female amputee speech writer.
He said she would be really good at stump speeches.
Why wouldn’t bootleggers work with anyone who had a speech impediment?
"Welcome back, everybody" is apparently not a good way to start your speech
if you're the best man at your buddy's second wedding.
What did Mike Bloomberg do after the speech on dropping out of the presidential race?
My father had a stroke last night. While he was in his bed in the ER with slurred speech and half his face paralyzed, the nurse comes in and asks, "So, what brings you here tonight?"
"The ambulance", he says.
Had my best man speech for my best friends wedding yesterday and I finished with a great one
"Well this has been a really emotional day, gosh...even the wedding cake is in tiers." Got lots of heavy sighing, laughs and tons of boos....I was very happy with the reception
- thanks for the upvotes! Never thought I'd see the front page, it's been a pun-ishing wait to get there
My friend with a speech impediment got arrested for drug peddling.
He really made a meth of himself
When I win the nobel prize, this will be my speech:
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side; my hips, for never lying; my legs, for always supporting me; my fingers and toes, for I can always count on them
Say what you want about freedom of speech....
You know there’s a name for when parrots mimic human speech
I built myself a speech-activated car.
I also have a regular car, but that goes without saying.
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
What do you call an old man with a sudden speech impediment?
An Ambulance. Difficulty speaking is a common sign of a stroke.
Did you hear about the escaped convict with a speech impediment?
He couldn’t finish his sentence.
Why did the college grad mention side walks in his speech?
He thanked them for keeping him off the streets.
My friend keeps telling me that he goes to speech therapy every week.
[Request] Can I have a dad joke to open my wedding speech? (Groom speaking)
Wedding is on Saturday, in Dorset uk. Requesting joke ideas in exchange for gratitude.
Why was the janitor fired after he developed insomnia and a speech impediment?
What did the audio engineer do when the sound system failed before a big speech?
I was asked to do a speech at my best friend's wife's funeral.
*goes up on stage*
Me: "Plethora"
*walks off towards widow*
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
What do you call a speech bashing smells?
I tried doing Dramatic Interpretation in high dchool speech, but I stopped because I hated it.
I now suffer from Post Dramatic Stress Disorder
Edit: school. Damn mobile keyboards!
If you're giving any type of big speech or presentation, you should undo your belt
that way people know you don't buckle under pressure
Our wedding was so good, and my best mans speech was hilarious
Even the cake was in tiers
(Had to do a half cake day joke)
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