I sold my vacuum cleaner today..
All it was doing was collecting dust
I sold my old vacuum cleaner...
... it sucked. All it did was gather dust.
I sold a couple ducks today
Sold, to the man in the uniform!
Did you hear about the mycologist who knowingly sold someone bad mushrooms?
Yep. He didn't have any morels.
I just sold a house with ferns throughout and a safe in the attic
The buyers loved that it was fully fernished with a vaulted ceiling
Yesterday I suddenly ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
I sold my Chevy electric car, missed it so I bought it back...
I know, pretty re-Volting!
I sold a Chess set to my friend. He asked if all the pieces were there.
Just sold my homing pigeons on eBay.
The XFL was just sold to Dwayne Johnson and a couple of investors for $15 million...
..now that's a Rock bought 'em price.
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...
Pho Ton Torpedoes.
(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)
My boss at the movie theatre asked me why I haven't sold any M&M's
I told him it's not my fault they're hard-sell candy.
Did you know the Roman armies sold milk products wherever they went?
People still talk about it today. It was Legion Dairy.
What do you call a computer sold in 8 pieces?
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
Today I learned that the band Nirvana sold its own brand of gum.
It was called Smells Like Green Spearmint.
I sold my washing machine last week because i had a $20 bill in my last wash
I didnt want to be caught money laundering
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
Maybe I should quit while I’m a head.
The food bar at the internet cafe was sold out today
I couldn't get a single byte
My dentist sold his socks after checking my teeth
he had incisor information
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....
Why do balloons filled with helium cost more than balloons sold in packages?
What sort of corn is sold at student unions?
Hope my "Mr T" mask stops Coronavirus, they were all sold out of "Face" masks.
What happened to the guy that sold land mines shaped like prayer maps?
The prophets were through the roof
I’m writing a book about a guy who sells shoe parts to satan. It’s your basic “Sold my sole to the devil” novel.
The devil was sold a bunch of leaky fountain pens when visiting Turku, which used to be the capital of Finland.
Did you sell it for more? No, I sold it for lease.
Did you hear of that fake metal that was fraudulently sold to companies as "steel"? It turned out to be an alloy mostly made up of tin. Guess you can call it FORGED steel
A t-Rex sold me a pistol for a great price.
He’s my small arms dealer.
Scam alert: Those Free Hong Kong shirts are being sold on Amazon for 15 bucks!
The most expensive diamond in 2017 sold for $71.2 million USD
to Hong Kong-based jewelry retailer Chu Tai Fook. Over the last few months as the protests in Hong Kong have become heated Mr. Chu has been on the side of the government which has caught the eye of the international gem dealers, causing him to become a bit of a pariah.
The diamond went up for sale his and the Chinese government wanted to ensure that world's most expensive gem got a fair price. Mr. Chu approached Southerby's who was hesitant to get involved in what could be deemed a political gem sale. Despite his protests none of the world's leading auction houses the answer was always the same, they would not do the auction. This is when president Xi Jiping got involved to ensure that some good news could come out of China.
Last week it was reported that Rick Harrison, from Pawn Stars, had approached Xi Jinping saying that he would hold the diamond but couldn't promise more than $500 USD from the sale of the pendant. This infuriated the Chinese president threatened to take down the reality TV star, but Harrison was adamant telling Mr. Pooh, "If Chu wished to pawn the star, makes no difference who you are"
Did I ever tell you about the shady vendor who sold me an overpriced, moldy donut on my trip to see the Pyramids?
Egypt me, but I was starving so I ate it anyway. Now I falafel.
The guy that sold me my Christmas tree asked if I'd be putting it up myself...
...nah mate. I'll be putting it in the living room.
I sold my vaccum cleaner today .
All it was doing was collecting dust .
i recently sold my vacuum cleaner
all it was doing was gathering dust
I was walking down the street and suddenly ran into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.
I was walking down the street and ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.
I sold my vaccum cleaner
Because it was just gathering dust
Yesterday I accidentally ran into the man who sold me an antique globe...
This morning, I accidentally ran into the man who once sold me an antique globe.
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