A list of puns related to "Soiling"
The plot thickens.
But I can't go to the cops cause they got dirt on me.
Whenever asked about this, he would boldly proclaim that he βwas not throwing away his snotβ.
The plot thickens
There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits β all from late twentieth-century Terra β on a training study of Carterβs World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.
βLook at the perfection with which these streets are gradedβ, exclaimed one student. βEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?β
βA new alleyway is being constructed, nearbyβ, said Feghoot. βLet us walk that way while I explain.β As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carterβs World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.
βI seeβ, said the student. βItβs not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.β
βThatβs right,β Feghoot went on smoothly. βYou just hit the road jack and donβt come back no mo.β
His students registered dismay and anguish.
βIsnβt that right, old-timer?,β Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.
βAhm afraid not, suhβ, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. βOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. Itβs the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.
βSo you see,β he finished, eyes twinkling, βMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.β
Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. βAnd heβ, he said, turning to his students, βis clearly the gradi
... keep reading on reddit β‘The plot thickens...
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me!
Kept on insisting that I had promised to build him a treehouse but I don't remember evergreening this elm of a contract. Though he kept inisisting I had birch the agreement due to the long delay but my attempt to confern the fertility of the spruce was in roots. Now I have to oak up and face the spruce. My weekend has been soiled and I now have to maple my son's treehouse whilst I willow my day away. Although... Now that I twig about it, having a treehouse in my yard sounds like a pine idea.
but they only have one copy, and it was already out on loam
So technically, Insightβs purpose is to give us insight about whatβs not IN SIGHT
"You'll slip and fall." She said.
I replied "Don't worry, the soil will keep me planted."
I thought "shit just got real".
The plot thickens.
βAnd so the plot thickens...β
I knew it would stick the landing.
My son noticed that I had brown all over my shorts.
Son: βWhat happened, dad?β
Me: βWell, son, I appear to have soiled myself.β
I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil
She asked how much it was. I said "Don't worry, it was dirt cheap."
I said, "You pay full price, ma'am. We don't negotiate with terroirists."
I've always liked his self-defecating sense of humor
Drop the Base!
Me: This looks like a great detective novel.
Her: What?
You: You know. The plot thickens.
Treeson
A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol -Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration?
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!'
That pretty much ended the service.
Store had it selling for dirt-cheap!
Edit: Didn't expect my joke to dig so deep. My inbox is soiled
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens
The plot thickens
The Plot Thickens
The plot thickens.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.