A resident in my building said: "The mulch around those trees should help retard weed growth."

My reply was "I'm sure Weed Growth's parents would prefer to refer to them as developmentally delayed."

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👤︎ u/sunfistkid
📅︎ Sep 18 2017
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5Q + 5Q = ?

You're welcome

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Jul 14 2020
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Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

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📅︎ Jun 21 2020
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If someone could bring me ground up wood chips...

It would be mulch appreciated

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📅︎ May 13 2016
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There must be a yearly dad joke convention or something.

I was filling flowerbeds at work-a sport center and gym- with my dad(one of the owners), the groundskeeper- a father himself(lets call him GK), his son, and another co-worker.

two brothers, both in their late teens come out of the gym and wait for their dad to come pick them up. My dad sees them and asks if they want to help with the mulch- "its a free second workout!" A little later, GK says "Hey guys, you two should help with the mulch. We won't pay ya, but it'll help build up your muscles!". After the second time, you could hear the kids groan across the parking lot.

Aaand in come the brothers' father to pick them up. "Hey, look- they're mulching. you should help them. you two need to work on your biceps."

Three variants of the same dad joke in a matter of 15 minutes.

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📅︎ Jul 11 2014
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