I was getting close to retiring and offered my compost business to my son.

He replied, β€œI refuse to work with compost! It’s so degrading!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoccerRN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I seen my father pouring chicken soup over his compost yesterday

I suppose chicken soup IS good for the soil

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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I wish people wouldn’t make fun of my compost pile.

It’s biodegrading.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fungiinmygarden
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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While talking fermi-compost with our daughter tonight...

My wife dropped this one:

One worm said to his buddy "Hey, all that food that was in here last night is decomposed." the other says "Aw man, that's rotten."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jparamch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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What do you call a composer that’s dead and buried?

A decomposer.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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1. Blue plastic bucket for watering, car-washing, etc. 2. Red plastic bucket for mopping floors, cleanup from painting, plumbing disasters. 3. Green metal pail for compostable table scraps.

...and that's my Bucket List.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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Did you hear about the gardener who fell into a pile of his fertiliser and suffocated?

They had to do a compost-mortem.

(Credit to The Simpsons, the punchline came from a Treehouse of Horror ep)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fortytwoblaqk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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There's a few crows that hang out near near my house and ...

I've been throwing out some popcorn and sometimes bread crumbs instead of composting it. They like it. And I like them. They'll CAW at me sometimes when I get in the car.

I've heard that Crows....when they like you...they'll leave little gifts for you on your door step. Shining things, like bits of foil, bottle caps, buttons...etc.

And while it's not explicitly stated...they do expect something in return.

It's Quid Pro Crow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
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What does the garbage man yell when his kids are acting out?

Compost yourselves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buttengine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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my boss is such a dad

He was telling us that his compost wheelie bin went missing last night, and then suddenly appeared again in the morning but he has no idea where its been.

Then he said 'it probably can't remember where its been because its had too much weed'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lizzieclark9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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