I cut my finger while slicing cheese.
My GF was slicing tomatoes...
One of them slipped off the cutting board onto the floor and she gasped in surprise.
I asked her what happened and she said "one of my tomatoes is trying to get away"
So of course I replied "Well did you ketchup to it?" And then I giggled for the rest of the evening.
I cut my finger slicing cheese...
I think I might have grater problems.
Why are Republicans persuading people to stop slicing their parmesan cheese?
Because they want to make America grate again.
My father-in-law fell into a giant vat of sliced cabbage.
Now he's my father-in-slaw.
Gambling where the wager is a pepperoni slice
Playing with a pizza chit
This pun is a Cut above the rest
Apple Pie is a ridiculous $5 a slice in the U.S., but only $1 in Jamaica, the Bahamas, & the Virgin Islands
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
What happens when you eat 3.14 slices of pizza?
You get really full.
What, were you expecting a pie joke on my cake day?
What do ducks like to eat with sliced cheese?
Trick question, they are actually quacktose intolerant
What has apples and 3.14 slices?
When I moved to the city, I went to a bar where they only served individually wrapped cheese slices...
It was a cool singles bar.
I like all cheeses, those blue ones, those aged ones, even those sliced ones...
but why does Trump want to make America grate again??????/
What's the difference between the President of Russia and a slice of cheese?
The president of Russia is no good for Putin on the Ritz.
I went to the deli the other day to get sliced turkey, but I was upset when I got there,
because everyone else before me went ham on it.
Walking home last night, I passed a slice of apple pie, an ice cream sundae, and a lemon cheesecake.
I thought to myself, “The streets seem strangely desserted…”
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
Why won't swords go obsolete?
They are cutting edge technology.
A character you can’t play in a game was sliced with a sword multiple times.
Why is shredding cheese better than sliced cheese?
Because it went through a cheese greater!
My 6yo holds a slice of red pepper up to my face and breaks it towards me. Me: “Ugh, what did you do that for. You got me all wet.”
“That was pepper spray.”
Got me!
A slate came off the roof and sliced a builders ear off.
We all looked for the ear so we could take it to hospital to get it sewn on.
Whats this here. And shows us a bloody ear.
The builder said i dont know whos that ear is its not mine.
How can you tell we asked.
Cos mine had a pencil behind it!
What do call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot?
What is the area of a circular piece of dough, where the slice length is "z" and the rise is "A"
Pi(z)(z)(A)
Edit: Volume not area
What do you call a slice of pizza that’s a jerk?
A blonde orders a pizza and the waiter asks if she would like it cut into 6 or 12 pieces.
"6 please. I could never eat 12."
I finally got my dream job at the guillotine factory
I’ll beheading there shortly
Edit: Thanks for the silver. My first ever award!
I rarely put orange slices in my beer.
My dad gave me the golden dad joke medal for this one...
Me: You've heard of Murphy's Law, right?
Mum: Yeah.
Me: What is it?
Mum: It's to do with bad luck.
Me: Cool, have you heard of Cole's Law?
Mum: No. What is it?
Me: It's thinly sliced cabbage
A local cake factory was just robbed
They took a huge slice of the profits
It’s my first ever cake day!
So you know what that means.... I honestly don’t because I have never had a slice of blue cheese!
What do you get when you put a blunt wooden weapon inbetween two slices of bread?
I had a stack of 52 slices of toast this morning.
I ate an entire deck of carbs!
Some people call circular-sliced hot dogs “lunch meat”...
But if you ask me, that’s just bologna.
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
I accidentally cut myself while slicing up a block of cheese.
I didn't realize it was Extra Sharp.
In Jamaica apple pie costs $2 a slice while in the Bahamas a slice of cherry pie costs $3.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. It is $2.50 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
A slice of pie in the Bahamas is $2.00, a slice of pie in Jamaica is $2.50...
The Pie-rates of the Caribbean
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean
A slice of apple pie in Jamaica is $2.00. In the Bahamas it costs $2.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is 2.50 in Jamaica. It $3 in the Bahamas
These are the pie rate of the Caribbean
Key Lime pie, $2/slice in Jamaica, $1.50/slice in the Bahamas
These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas.
These are the Pie-rates of the Caribbean.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
