My neighbour asked me β€œHey, how much wood did you chop today?”

I said, β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ReaperWright88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
How much seasoning do you put on pork chops?

You can go ham.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenitals
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.

when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My lumberjack friend was irate because he had such dull tools to chop trees. So he went to his foreman.

He had an ax to grind.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What a chop
πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dvarka124
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How long does it take to chop down a tree in Japan?

One Okinawa.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down

Do you think its stumped

πŸ‘︎ 128
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LtLama1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't Flipper karate chop a fish in two?

Dull fin

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ErikMFoss
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Chop, chop!
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crazydrummer81
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Knives can also be called Chop-sticks
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TryingToCareLess
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Can't we have breaded pork chops?

Mom: No Dad: yes you can, just sandwich it on two breads

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G-Nozomi64
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad gave me a pork chop that his father gave him

It was a ham me down

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I can chop wood just by looking at it.

I saw it with my own eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/devnodegree
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a way to chop wood with my head.

But it gives me a splitting headache.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I found the best candidate to chop tomatoes for us.

He made the cut!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keyclimber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Nobody believed me when I told them I could chop down a tree just by looking at it, but I saw it with my own eyes.
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Smoopy_Poops
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Unexpected dad joke from Mom... My dad was grilling pork chops today. Normally not a fan, but I decided to try a bite. It was delicious, so I turned to my dad and said, "Wow Dad! These pork chops are really well done!" From behind me, Mom quipped...

"Actually, they're medium-well."


I paused for a good 10 seconds as it began to sink in, and then gave her the biggest applause I could.

I'm so happy.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OreoBlizzard12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2018
🚨︎ report
If Pinocchio chops down a tree

Is he committing tree-son?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrToastyToast
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
🚨︎ report
My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.

Ain't nobody got thyme for that

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/riffdex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2015
🚨︎ report
I'm about to chop this talking tree

It will dialogue

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eyooji
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Tree: "Please don't chop me down, i'm a talking tree!."

Lumberjack: "Well, I guess you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ciaransheridan_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"

The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."

πŸ‘︎ 280
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/silentknight1991
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked my lumberjack friend, β€œHow much wood did you chop?”

He said, β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree...

...but he didn't know it was a magic forest.

As he began to chop down a tree, the tree said "Wait I am a talking tree".

The lumberjack said "And you will dialogue".

πŸ‘︎ 367
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UlyssesFR
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œHey, how much wood did you chop?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.