You know what really gets on my nerves, when people chop my legs of...
Then I really can't stand it
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 05 2021
If your ever in a sword fight, try to chop their feet off
Then you will de-feet him
π︎ 112
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
A lumberjack was just about to chop down a tree when, miraculously, the tree said, "don't chop me down! I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack stepped back and said, "really? well, you'll die a log."
π︎ 28
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
My neighbour asked me βHey, how much wood did you chop today?β
I said, βNot sure. Let me check the logs.β
π︎ 192
π
︎ Sep 26 2020
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."
π︎ 33
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
How much seasoning do you put on pork chops?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 11 2020
What a chop
π︎ 19
π
︎ May 22 2020
A lumberjack walking into a magic forest and chose a tree to chop down.
when he started swinging, the tree shouted, 'wait, wait! i'm a talking tree!' the lumberjack smiled and told him, 'and you will dialogue.'
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
My lumberjack friend was irate because he had such dull tools to chop trees. So he went to his foreman.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
How long does it take to chop down a tree in Japan?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, βNO! Donβt chop me down! Iβm a talking tree!β
The lumberjack responded, βAnd you will dialogue.β
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 16 2020
If you chop down a tree in the forest, but it doesn't understand why you cut it down
π︎ 129
π
︎ Aug 10 2019
Chop, chop!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 16 2019
Knives can also be called Chop-sticks
π︎ 44
π
︎ Aug 16 2018
I can chop wood just by looking at it.
I saw it with my own eyes.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jan 03 2019
My dad gave me a pork chop that his father gave him
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 21 2019
Can't we have breaded pork chops?
Mom: No
Dad: yes you can, just sandwich it on two breads
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 27 2019
I found a way to chop wood with my head.
But it gives me a splitting headache.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 10 2019
I found the best candidate to chop tomatoes for us.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 30 2018
Nobody believed me when I told them I could chop down a tree just by looking at it, but I saw it with my own eyes.
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 20 2018
Unexpected dad joke from Mom... My dad was grilling pork chops today. Normally not a fan, but I decided to try a bite. It was delicious, so I turned to my dad and said, "Wow Dad! These pork chops are really well done!" From behind me, Mom quipped...
"Actually, they're medium-well."
I paused for a good 10 seconds as it began to sink in, and then gave her the biggest applause I could.
I'm so happy.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 25 2018
If Pinocchio chops down a tree
Is he committing tree-son?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 14 2017
My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.
Ain't nobody got thyme for that
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 18 2015
I'm about to chop this talking tree
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 14 2020
Tree: "Please don't chop me down, i'm a talking tree!."
Lumberjack: "Well, I guess you will dialogue."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
A lumberjack walks into an enchanted forest. As he goes to chop down a tree, it calls out. "Wait, don't chop me down. I'm a talking tree!"
The lumberjack smiles. "And you will dialogue."
π︎ 285
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
A lumberjack goes into a forest to chop down a tree...
...but he didn't know it was a magic forest.
As he began to chop down a tree, the tree said "Wait I am a talking tree".
The lumberjack said "And you will dialogue".
π︎ 366
π
︎ Dec 07 2018
I asked my lumberjack friend, βHow much wood did you chop?β
He said, βNot sure. Let me check the logs.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
βHey, how much wood did you chop?β
βNot sure. Let me check the logs.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
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