When firefighters lose their jobs, are they fired or given the axe?
A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, “NO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack responded, “And you will dialogue.”
If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.
easier to get a head
My friend is always bragging about his woodworking tool like an axe but with the cutting edge perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.
What an adze!
Where does a lumberjack buy his axes?
At the “Chopping Maul.”
My friends got together to play electric guitar, but the distance from the wall to their axes was too great...
Luckily, they had a power chord.
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
It wasn’t very cleaver.
I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...
I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT
Why did Johnny Appleseed carry an axe?
To have better axe-ess to apples.
As told by my 8 year old.
I saw my dad with an axe and he was running to me and I screamed.
After he said that he wanna be Mighty Thor and he wanna show me his new look. (We saw Endgame the day before)
Hey teacher, what would you do if someone came up to you with a huge axe?
I'd answer their important question
Cut myself at a BYOB axe throwing place last night
That's right.... I had an axe-ident
And My Axe imgur.com/JxPUrkS
Looking for Axe-Related Puns!
Hey guys, so a mate of mine at school got an axe to the knee whilst out at his farm over the holidays, and I'm looking for some axe related puns I could use! Any ideas?
So I made a character who's into axes... I need puns and jokes... About axes! (x-post /r/DnD) reddit.com/r/DnD/comments…
Sorry mate, I broke your axe head...
Hope you can handle it.
I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.
It wasn't very cleaver.
