When firefighters lose their jobs, are they fired or given the axe?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luther277
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
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A lumberjack went into a magic forest to gather wood. As he found the perfect tree to cut down, he began sharpening his axe, and the tree exclaimed, β€œNO! Don’t chop me down! I’m a talking tree!”

The lumberjack responded, β€œAnd you will dialogue.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/articElite0
πŸ“…︎ May 16
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If i were an executioner, i’d rather be the guy swinging an axe than the guy tying a rope.

easier to get a head

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aexolthum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
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My friend is always bragging about his woodworking tool like an axe but with the cutting edge perpendicular to the handle rather than parallel.

What an adze!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
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Where does a lumberjack buy his axes?

At the β€œChopping Maul.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/razortongue71
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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My friends got together to play electric guitar, but the distance from the wall to their axes was too great...

Luckily, they had a power chord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
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I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.

It wasn’t very cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarsonFoles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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I'm the proud owner of an axe that once belonged to Abraham Lincoln...

I replaced the head once,and the handle twice, but it feels good to own a piece of American history.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.

An AXEIDENT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigni44a
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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Why did Johnny Appleseed carry an axe?

To have better axe-ess to apples.

As told by my 8 year old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NEPDX_RIPCITY
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I saw my dad with an axe and he was running to me and I screamed.

After he said that he wanna be Mighty Thor and he wanna show me his new look. (We saw Endgame the day before)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkWarrior703
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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Axe...

gives me head-axe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurquiseBird
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Anti-climb axe
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangopojke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Axe body spray (xpost /r/dndmemes)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
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Hey teacher, what would you do if someone came up to you with a huge axe?

I'd answer their important question

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notmikerealname
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Cut myself at a BYOB axe throwing place last night

That's right.... I had an axe-ident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevincredible22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2017
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πŸ‘︎ 250
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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Looking for Axe-Related Puns!

Hey guys, so a mate of mine at school got an axe to the knee whilst out at his farm over the holidays, and I'm looking for some axe related puns I could use! Any ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2015
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So I made a character who's into axes... I need puns and jokes... About axes! (x-post /r/DnD) reddit.com/r/DnD/comments…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashgate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Sorry mate, I broke your axe head...

Hope you can handle it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/urammar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2014
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I made a bad joke about an axe. No one laughed.

It wasn't very cleaver.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMustafi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
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I own an axe that belonged to Abraham Lincoln

I replaced the head once,and the handle has been replaced twice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
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