What did the general have up his sleeves

His armies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrew66655321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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My friend has peg on his short sleeve shirt for balancing small white balls on when he wants to whack them with a club...

He always wears his tee-shirt when golfing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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So I was rolling coins from my tip money and placing the rolled up sleeves on each other forming a kind of pyramid shape:

My sister walks up to me and asks: β€œAre you creating a pyramid scheme?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColinHenrichon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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A guy with flame tattoo sleeves walks into a building. Security stops him and says,

There are no firearms allowed in this building.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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Right up my sleeve
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgentAqua7897
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Just became an American so I cut off all my sleeves

Since I now have the right to bare arms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teddy4Prez
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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My friend lied about creating a cloth that can easily be ripped to remove sleeves...

It was a tearable fabrication!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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Got a couple Twix up my sleeve.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InstantKorma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2018
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I was watching football with my 11 year old son and wearing a short sleeve shirt. He said, "Dad, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head." I said,

"even more interesting, you have as much hair on your arms as I have on my head."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Looking for puns on full/long sleeves.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/var_lock99
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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I have a few twix up my sleeve.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/faisalhassanx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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[from a chat] friend: really random side note: my sleeve smells like jam and idk why

Me: were you having a jamboree earlier?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reeper147
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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I asked my Dad why he had a third sleeve in his jumper

He said β€œWell there’s no β€˜arm in it”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pip_goes_pop
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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Magicians have rabbits in their hats because they have Trix up their sleeves.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ericmc80
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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I'm just going to sleeve this here.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexan1an
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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I wear a jacket with no sleeves when I'm serious about what I'm doing.

That way you know I'm in-vest-ed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RichNCrispy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2017
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I guess I've just never read a Hot Pocket sleeve before...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/idkmybffyossarian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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I'm going to design decorative sleeves that go over women's handbags and call them...

... Hot Purse Suits

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2014
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Working at a restaurant, always have a few jokes up my sleeve.

Working as a waiter, I have a couple of wonderful/awful/wonderfully awful jokes when customers place an order. For example...

"Can I please have the rabbit pasta?"

"Oh I'm not sure I'd recommend that, there have been numerous complaints about a hare in their food."

And for the steaks...

"How would you like that cooked?"

"Well done."

"Thanks, but I'm just doing my job."

I either get laughs, confused looks or groans; most of the time I get a combination of the three. But since I'm childless (19 seems a tad young) I have to get my dad jokes out somehow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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