Waiter: “How do you like your steak, sir”?
Sir: “Like winning an argument with my wife”.
Waiter “Rare it is!”.
Guy tries to board a plane with a dead racoon. The flight attendant says, "sir, you're going to have to check that"
"Don't worry," he replies, "It's carrion."
Doctor: Sorry sir but your body has ran out of Magnesium
Waitress: How did you find your steak Sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
Banker: sir, why is your land deed covered in... grease???
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Doctor: “Sir, I have some bad news, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards”
Ordering KFC, and I ask for a chicken wing. Cashier asks, “ok sir, and which side?”
I replied I had never thought about it before, but I suppose I’ll take the right side.
Cashier: “sir, I meant mashed potatoes, corn, or beans.”
Magical Creatures Rights Activist: Sir, are you aware of how wizards and witches deal with Boggarts?
Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is corrupted.
A waiter asks the "How did you find your steak, Sir?"
Me: I just looked next to the mash potatoes and there it was!
Source: tedthestoner2.0.
Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
Cashier: Sir can I have your card again?
Me: its a sweater and no you can't have it.
Hey Sir, police jokes aren’t funny!
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What did king Arthur say to sir Lancelot?
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
Officer: Sir, why are you carrying pillows?
Because I’m resisting a rest.
This was posted by Sir Ian McKellen himself on Facebook
https://preview.redd.it/pcu1x2n9tvs51.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8b5cc4564de7f6b3da1ce9dfd2508b168d159e6
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.
"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."
Officer : Sir, Ma’am, I’m afraid your child was responsible for burning the building.
Man #1: "Sir, would you like a pamphlet about our organization?
Waitress: "Are you finished sir?"
Dad: "No, I'm actually Norwegian. So close though, you're pretty good at that!"
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said “ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
Helmet won by Sir Cumsize during war in the year 1215AD
"Sir, we can't find the tool for making holes and, consequently, can't proceed. What should we do?"
"It's useless. Give up. Awl is lost."
Dear Sir/Madam
Your sex change operation was a partial success.
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
Sir, why aren't you eating dat order?
Because of eating disorder.
Store cashier: "Sir, do you wanna box for these items?"
Me: "No thanks, I'm not much of an athlete. Is it okay if I just pay with my card?"
Doctor: Sir, you have an upset stomach
Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.
Sir, why did you choose to sit at the bar?
Because I have table reservations.
The fish and chip shop: “Sorry sir we’re all out of fish.”
Me: “I knew it, there is no cod!”
Sir, can you breathe?
No, but my lung can, sir.
How did you find your steak, sir?
Right next to the potatoes.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.”
Sir, why aren't you eating dat order?
Because of eating disorder.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
