Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
Officer: Sir, why are you carrying pillows?
Because I’m resisting a rest.
A photon checks into a hotel. "Need any help with your luggage sir?" asks the porter.
"No thanks " replies the photon. "I am travelling light."
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Officer : Sir, Ma’am, I’m afraid your child was responsible for burning the building.
A vulture was boarding a plane and he brought with him a dead racoon. The flight attendant, mortified by the sight and stench, pointed at the carcass and asked "Sir why did you bring a dead racoon with you."
The vulture said. "Oh this? This is my carrion luggage."
Man #1: "Sir, would you like a pamphlet about our organization?
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
This was posted by Sir Ian McKellen himself on Facebook
https://preview.redd.it/pcu1x2n9tvs51.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=f8b5cc4564de7f6b3da1ce9dfd2508b168d159e6
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".
He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"
Waitress: "Are you finished sir?"
Dad: "No, I'm actually Norwegian. So close though, you're pretty good at that!"
A drunk dude decided to drive and get more beer. After being pulled over and questioned by the cop, the cop said “ sir I’m going to have to put you under arrest.” The guy then said
One night I got pulled over. The cop walked up to my window and said “do you have a police record, sir?” I said:
"Sorry sir, the library is closed."
"But I've booked a meeting."
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
I was checking out at the grocery store today and the bagger was holding my stuff over the shopping cart and asked: “sir, would you like to go out with the cart?”. To which I replied “oh, no thanks I’m actually married”. My poor son looked mortified. Dad joke status ACHIEVED.
Doctor: "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards"
Helmet won by Sir Cumsize during war in the year 1215AD
"Sir, we can't find the tool for making holes and, consequently, can't proceed. What should we do?"
"It's useless. Give up. Awl is lost."
Dear Sir/Madam
Your sex change operation was a partial success.
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
Sir, why aren't you eating dat order?
Because of eating disorder.
Doctor: Sir, you have an upset stomach
Me: So that’s where all that crying is coming from.
Sir Good, what do people say to you when you leave in the evening?
The fish and chip shop: “Sorry sir we’re all out of fish.”
Me: “I knew it, there is no cod!”
Sir, why did you choose to sit at the bar?
Because I have table reservations.
Sir, can you breathe?
No, but my lung can, sir.
Doctor: Sir you’ve suffered multiple 3rd degree burns
Dad: that’s odd, it felt hotter than that.
Store cashier: "Sir, do you wanna box for these items?"
Me: "No thanks, I'm not much of an athlete. Is it okay if I just pay with my card?"
A policeman stopped me in my car and said “Excuse me sir. Do you know this is a one way street?”
“Yes officer, I’m only going one way”. I replied.
We need to discuss your results sir. Please, have a seat.
"Sir, look at this."
"What's that Haskins?"
"I know your love life sucks, so I signed you up to a dating website."
"I'm not comfortable with a robot finding love for me."
"It says your best chance for love is in October."
"Why then?"
"Because it's autumn mated."
How does Sir Lancelot ship his armor to the jousting tournament?
U.S. Mail Over Knight Express
The Costco employee said "I'm sorry Sir, we're rationing.
[Looking over cart full of TP]
Me: "Nice to meet you Rationing, I'm Hoarding"
We got pulled over and the cop wanted to know if my dad knew why. "With all due respect sir," my dad replied...
"If you forgot, I'm not going to remind you."
"Excuse me sir, will the pizza be long?"
"No sir it'll be round."
*joke courtesy of a local restaurant
Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here
A time traveler walks into a bar.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Sir, why aren't you eating dat order?
Because of eating disorder.
Doctor: “Sir, I’m afraid your DNA is backwards.”
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
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