Why was Mr.Bee sad?

His wife was a whorenet.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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Mr. Ed

Man, I was worried when Mr. Ed had to be hospitalized. But now I've heard he's back home and his condition is stable.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spinoza418
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
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Do you know Mr. Mushroom

He's a Fun guy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sebast2111
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 81
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.

If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/digiBeLow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2021
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What does mrs Ant call Mr ant?

Anthoney

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Mr. Bean said it best

when he said...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/teeim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2020
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Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?

Dr. Pepper.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoodEveningItsAsa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"

The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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What did Mr. Willy, a man who served his country, say to Mr. Rubber?

. . .

"Cover me, I'm going in!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/project4167
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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Mr. Macaroni to his son:

Tell your sister it's pasta bed time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Why does Mrs. Claus hate Santa?

He has too many ho ho hos

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drewc249
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?

Looks like reindeer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sandyatk445
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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I really like that actress in β€œHouse of Cards,” β€œManhattan” and β€œThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.”

I’m a Rachel Brosnafan.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/backalleywillie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Why Santa tell Mrs. Claus to carry an umbrella?

"Looks like rain dear"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Only_Have_One_Hand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
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Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood

I have been informed he was a-salted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DubsAli
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 24 2020
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My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2020
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Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?

He’s an imi-tater...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 102
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chalwar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 11 2020
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A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?

Mississippi.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/drogers5606
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.

They have to fit the Bill.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2020
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Have you met Mr. Mushroom?

He’s a real fungi.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aguywithadream56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2020
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When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasn’t going to happen.

She said: β€œNot tonight. Period.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brian_Cirgury
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...

"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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There once was a family, the Bigger’s. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?

The son, because he was a little Bigger.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HurinofLammoth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.

Sleigh Queen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/diceblue
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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Mr Yeast
πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/79to55
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2020
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I met mr. T and I was very disappointed!

He offered me coffee.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SkyNetF1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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Mr. and Mrs. Melon told me the story of when they went to vegas to get married.

At the alter the priest said... You cantaloupe.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ColeMotto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2020
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What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?

Crabby panties

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/farquaadschin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2020
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Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?

Herb T.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?

Hexcellent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dyljim
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2020
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Mr. Bigger held his newborn son.

Who was taller?

The baby was a little Bigger.

Mr. Bigger went to the hydroelectric plant.

Now he's Bigger by a dam site.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.

Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Metalingus03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2019
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How many ears does Mr. Spock have?

Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2020
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Santa to Mrs. Claus: do you hear that noise?

Mrs Claus: It's only rain dear.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/myhomebasenl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?

β€œLooks like rain dear”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2020
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My colleagues at work gave me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise”.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 514
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 21 2020
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My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.

It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 280
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2020
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My colleagues at work have given me the nickname β€œMr. Compromise.”

It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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