My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
What did Mr. Frequency say when he stubbed his toe?
Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
Just in case Mr Onion rings.
Mr stark I don’t feel so good
If I have a son I will name him Data, after Mr.Data from Star Trek.
If it’s a girl, we’ll pronounce it Data.
“Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Do you want to colour your hair?”
Bond: No time to Dye. Dye another day.
How many ears does Mr. Spock have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Mr beast came up to me today and asked If I wanted a free car, I declined and he asked why
I said "I don't want the car owner virus"
Pacman and Mrs. Pacman used to have a rap group.
Why did Mr Ed’s girlfriend only come out at dark?
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
No matter how much they water boarded Mr egg, he stood strong.
He said he’d dye for his country!
Doctor: Why do you think you have the Corona virus, Mr. Gates?
Bill Gates: I feel like a million dollars.
Mr. Time was ironically always late to his appointments, so to solve this his best friend made a bet with him that if he was late to his firstborn's birth, his friend would name him the most ridiculous name he could think of.
Luckily he arrived at the last second and named him Justin Time
Mr and Mrs Wong were expecting their first child.
When the baby was born. Mr Wong was shocked to see it was white and not a bit Chinese looking.
"No no no" he said "two wongs don't make a white"
My dad just told me the worst dad joke ever but I love it at the same time the joke was "Why does Mr Tayto have a phone"
My Mrs asked me to wind the baby...
I thought that was a bit harsh so I only gave it a dead arm.
Hope my "Mr T" mask stops Coronavirus, they were all sold out of "Face" masks.
Mr. Stark
My throat doesn't feel too good *cough*
Mr Ed just moved next door to me a few days ago.
What’s the name of Mr. T’s girlfriend?
Advisors: Mr president you can't just buy Greenland.!! That's ridiculous! Trump: but then how come
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title
'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
Mr. Dinosaur at his finest
What came after the dinosaur?
Answer - It's girlfriend!
At the office, the nickname that my coworkers gave me is ‘Mr. Compromise”.
It isn’t my first choice, but I can live with it.
These are very impressive qualifications Mr Hendrix but I just need to ask...
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Well, well, well Mr. Pond.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
Did you know that when Mr. Sampras was still playing tennis, they didn’t force him to use the word love? He could use the word “Oh”
What do you call the wife of Mr. Hippy from Tupelo?
Why doesn't Mrs Clause like to go outside in spring?
Because of all the rain, dear
Mr. Cleaver got a staph infection...
What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa when she looked out the window?
It looks like rain, dear.
Who did Mr. Hippie marry?
Mrs. Hippie!!
Ya know.. like "Mississippi"?!?
Why did Mr. Freeze want to join the Justice League?
He thought it was the Just-Ice League!
Who is bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s baby?
Mr. Bigger’s baby, because he’s a little Bigger
Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
Poor Mr. Vinegar, he can’t catch a break.
Every time he turns around, he’s in a pickle!
What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?
A ho ho ho
On a serious note Merry Christmas
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Pitty
Why did Mr Ohm propose to Mrs Ohm?
What did Mrs. Clause say to Santa Clause on Christmas Eve?
“Watch our for the rain, dear.”
-a tour guide earlier today
"I need to go out for a while, Amelia Bedelia. Can you do this list of chores?" Said Mr. Rogers.
Amelia Bedelia looked over the list. "Okey-dokey!" Said Amelia Bedelia.
When Mr. Rogers came home, he saw Amelia Bedelia stuffing sawdust into his secret marijuana stash.
Mr. Rogers was furious. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AMELIA BEDELIA?!"
"You said to cut the grass."
Why couldn’t Mr. and Mrs. Witch have babies?
Mr. Witch had a hollow weenie.
Whatever you say Mr. Pear
Why is Mr. T always busy?
Because he's always in the middle of something.
Mr. Pickle has a decent following on twitter...
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs. Turtle
Strange name but she tortoise well..
Mr. Peanut & The Energizer Bunny Are Forming A Band
They're calling it a salt & battery.
Just mentioned to the Mrs that I’ve always had a little bit of a thing for Beyoncé. “whatever floats your boat” she said. “No” I said “that’s buoyancy”
Have you met Mr. Albert Dente?
"Uh yeah I'm walking around your store barefoot and creating a hygiene problem, Mr.foot locker employee."
"Do you have a name or can i call you mine?" - female pokemons hitting on Mr. Mine
I don't really care about Mr. Cone's opinion
But I think he has a solid point
"Mr. Wayne, I really gotta pee." ... "Quick Robin, to the Batroom."
It's not easy living next door to Mrs Potato Head...
She keeps sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.
Vork vith us here, Mr. Clock
“Why are you shaving off your kid’s head, Mrs. Ice?”
What do you call the daughter of Mr. Interpreted?
What would you call Mr. T if he worked in Accounting?
Mrs. Claus kicked out Santa and now he doesn't have a place to live
So that makes him a ho ho hobo
Why did Mr. Potato Head get pulled over?
Big congrats to Mr. Potatohead finally debuting his first porno.
How does Mr. Miyagi eat baby bel cheese?
Batman has always had a soft spot for Mr. Freeze.
He thought he looked cool.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asks"hey Mr. Seal, what would it be?"
The seal says,"anything but a Canadian club"
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
It turns out that Mr. Spock has 3 ears
The left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
Thank you Stephen King for this wonderful joke.
Mr. T is not a fan of Dave Grohl.
In fact, he pities the foo.
Before she married Mr Potato Head, Mrs Potato Head was proposed to by Bob Costas
She rejected him though, because he was a commentator
They used to call me Mr Apathetic
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
My colleagues at work have given me the nickname “Mr. Compromise.”
It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
James Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
James Bond: No thank you. Dye
another day.
Who is bigger? Mr. Bigger or Mr. Biggers baby?
Mr. Biggers baby because he's a little bigger
What did Santa Claus say when he caught Mrs. Claus cheating?
At work, my colleagues have given me the nickname "Mr. Compromise."
It wasn't my first choice, but I'm ok with
it.
Who's bigger? Mr. Bigger? Or Mr. Bigger's son?
Mr. Bigger's son, he's a little Bigger!
Who’s bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger’s Son?
Mr.Bigger’s son, ‘cause he’s a little Bigger.
My favourite teacher at school was Mrs Turtle
Odd name but she tortoise well
Did you know that Mr. Spock actually had 3 ears?
A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
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