My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club"
What did Mr. Willy, a man who served his country, say to Mr. Rubber?
.
.
.
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
Looks like reindeer.
Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood
I have been informed he was a-salted.
Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?
A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.
They have to fit the Bill.
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
There once was a family, the Bigger’s. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?
What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
If I have a son I will name him Data, after Mr.Data from Star Trek.
If it’s a girl, we’ll pronounce it Data.
Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
Just in case Mr Onion rings.
Pacman and Mrs. Pacman used to have a rap group.
Mr Ed just moved next door to me a few days ago.
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
My dad just told me the worst dad joke ever but I love it at the same time the joke was "Why does Mr Tayto have a phone"
Mr. Time was ironically always late to his appointments, so to solve this his best friend made a bet with him that if he was late to his firstborn's birth, his friend would name him the most ridiculous name he could think of.
Luckily he arrived at the last second and named him Justin Time
Mr. Cleaver got a staph infection...
Santa wakes in a start and turns to Mrs Claus
"I just had the weirdest dream, and I can't make any sense of it."
Mrs Claus sits up and replies "Why don't you tell me about it dear?"
"They're I am, doing the Christmas eve rounds, checking in on the workers and I see one of them topping up the sleigh with gas. It's just routine work, but it woke me up tonight. What do you make of it?"
"Oh I see," Mrs Claus says, "very interesting."
"Well?" Santa says expectantly.
"This is a classic example of an elf fuel filling prophecy."
Poor Mr. Vinegar, he can’t catch a break.
Every time he turns around, he’s in a pickle!
Mr. Pickle has a decent following on twitter...
What would Santa call Mrs. Claus if she was a slut?
A ho ho ho
On a serious note Merry Christmas
"I need to go out for a while, Amelia Bedelia. Can you do this list of chores?" Said Mr. Rogers.
Amelia Bedelia looked over the list. "Okey-dokey!" Said Amelia Bedelia.
When Mr. Rogers came home, he saw Amelia Bedelia stuffing sawdust into his secret marijuana stash.
Mr. Rogers was furious. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, AMELIA BEDELIA?!"
"You said to cut the grass."
Just mentioned to the Mrs that I’ve always had a little bit of a thing for Beyoncé. “whatever floats your boat” she said. “No” I said “that’s buoyancy”
Mr. Peanut & The Energizer Bunny Are Forming A Band
They're calling it a salt & battery.
"Do you have a name or can i call you mine?" - female pokemons hitting on Mr. Mine
"Mr. President" could be a great name for a dog...
You could tell him to get off the couch by saying "Get down, Mr. President!"
"Uh yeah I'm walking around your store barefoot and creating a hygiene problem, Mr.foot locker employee."
Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn't put her down.
I just crashed my car in a lane between two houses -- one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Ball, and one owned by Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
Thank god I was dragged out by the Smiths.
Mr. T is not a fan of Dave Grohl.
In fact, he pities the foo.
Batman has always had a soft spot for Mr. Freeze.
He thought he looked cool.
A Japanese mathematician wanted her professor, Mr Zero, to acknowledge her.
You guys hear Eddie Murphy and Mr. Potatohead are doing a movie?!?
They named I️t Spuddy Professor
A student today (jokingly) said "Mr. thefisforfinance, I'm being assaulted."
My response: Are you going to be a-peppered too?
Mrs Rosenfeld is suing Mr Ramsay for calling her a pig
Mr Ramsay asks the judge: "is it illegal for me to call Mrs Rosenfeld a pig?"
The judge replies: "yes, of course it's illegal."
Mr Ramsay asks again: "ok, but am I allowed to call a pig 'Mrs Rosenfeld' your honor?"
The judge says: "well yeah, there is no law against that."
Mr then goes to Mrs Rosenfeld and says: "Hi Mrs Rosenfeld".
What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he saw a thunderstorm?
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asks"hey Mr. Seal, what would it be?"
The seal says,"anything but a Canadian club"
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