Late last night Mr Peanut was walking home through a bad neighborhood
I have been informed he was a-salted.
What did Santa say to Mrs Clause when he saw a thunderstorm?
My coworkers gave me the nickname Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
Made this one up myself. Hope you like! Did you know there is a Mr Potatohead knock off?
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, “Do you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
A Sippy Cup is called Mr. Sippy, what would you call his wife?
I imagine when Microsoft's co-founder Mr.Gates gets a suit tailored, they must fit him perfectly.
They have to fit the Bill.
When the Mrs. could tell I was in the mood, she immediately let me know that tonight wasn’t going to happen.
She said: “Not tonight. Period.”
Have you met Mr. Mushroom?
Trump and Pence were preparing to leave the Whitehouse for a big rally. When the helicopter arrived, Trump wasn't ready yet, so Pence asked: "Do you want me to wait for you Mr. President?" ...
"No Mike, you fly on ahead and I'll catch up later".
There once was a family, the Bigger’s. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
Santa got Coronavirus this year so Mrs Claus had to take over toy production, orders, and present deliveries.
I met mr. T and I was very disappointed!
Mr. and Mrs. Melon told me the story of when they went to vegas to get married.
At the alter the priest said...
You cantaloupe.
What Mr. Crabs wears under his pants?
Did you hear Mr T has a vegetarian son?
What would Mr. Burns say if he were a wizard?
Mr. Bigger held his newborn son.
Who was taller?
The baby was a little Bigger.
Mr. Bigger went to the hydroelectric plant.
Now he's Bigger by a dam site.
Mr stark I don’t feel so good
How many ears does Mr. Spock have?
Three: the left ear, the right ear, and the final front ear.
What did Mr. Frequency say when he stubbed his toe?
Without a doubt, my favourite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever Gold! I have no idea what it does but it sure is shiny =]
“Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Do you want to colour your hair?”
Bond: No time to Dye. Dye another day.
If I have a son I will name him Data, after Mr.Data from Star Trek.
If it’s a girl, we’ll pronounce it Data.
Why did Mr Potato have a mobile phone?
Just in case Mr Onion rings.
TIL that Mr. T used to be called Mr. Colton before the surgery.
Pacman and Mrs. Pacman used to have a rap group.
Mr and Mrs Wong were expecting their first child.
When the baby was born. Mr Wong was shocked to see it was white and not a bit Chinese looking.
"No no no" he said "two wongs don't make a white"
Why did Mr Ed’s girlfriend only come out at dark?
There are reports that, because of the covid outbreak, Rick Astley is hoarding copies of a 2009 Pixar film, and all albums by a southern metal band from New Orleans. He is not allowing anyone to borrow them. It's also said that Mr. Astley is refusing to go out and purchase cake for others.
To summarize:
He's never gonna give you Up
Never gonna lend you Down
Never gonna run around, and dessert you.
My colleagues at work gave me the nickname “Mr. Compromise”.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I’m okay with it.
My colleagues at work have given me the nickname “Mr. Compromise.”
It’s not my first choice, but I’m ok with it.
Barber: Mr. Bond, you are turning old and grey. Would you like me to colour your hair?
Janes Bond: No thanks. Dye another day.
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