Why did Mr. Potato Head get pulled over?

He was baked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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Before she married Mr Potato Head, Mrs Potato Head was proposed to by Bob Costas

She rejected him though, because he was a commentator

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skibblez_n_zits
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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What did Mr. Potato Head do when his car started acting up?

Nothing, I️t was just a spudder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VPoff
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
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Mr. Potato Head went to a basketball game last night.

He was a spec-tater.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2018
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Ore-Ida, Ore-Ida, Ore-Ida

Do you think if Matthew McConaughey was a Mr. Potato Head he would have said, β€œOre-Ida, Ore-Ida, Ore-Ida?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AxeSwinger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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My Grand Pa tells the worst jokes but this is his best.

Grand Pa: What does Mr. Potato Head and Cuba have in common?

Me:expecting the worstWhat's that.....

Grand Pa: They both have a dictator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarlockRock11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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First Dad joke in 23 years tonight....

My nephew was playing with A Mr. Potato Head and my dad took it from him, put it on the couch with him and says "Now hes a couch potato bwahaha"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bulbsy117
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2014
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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Heard it at church

Who is the most desirable man on Earth? According to a poll of women, it is Mr. Potato Head. He is cute, tan, and if he makes you mad you can rearrange his face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/butchpancake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2014
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RL yuks

Daughter goofing around put a Mr Potato Head hairpiece on Dad's head. "There, now you have a toupee!"

Dad replies, "I already have a lot of 'to-pays'. Electric bill, mortgage, cable, phone..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kjbrasda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2014
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