I love signing documents
I guess you could say it’s my signature move.
My dad died on 02/19/18, this joke came to me while signing paperwork at the funeral home...
What do they call the best salesman at a funeral home?
The Top Urner
My wife keeps yelling at me to stop signing "I'm a believer". I thought she must be joking...
So my daughter is signing up for band.
"I want to play the clarinet very badly!"
"Why not pay attention so you can play well?"
glares
My Dad on Bob Marley's grandson signing with the Redskins
Of course he is going to get a roster spot. He is already a Rasta
Signing the Census form
The latest Census form (In OZ) asks for a signature.
Me: It doesn't say who is to sign. Should it be the first person on the Census? The second person? Even your dog could sign it.
Dad: Well, that would be a poor signature!
Took my daughter swimming and there was a group of deaf people signing to each other on the pool.
My daughter was quite curious/interested in their use of sign language and was staring. I redirected her and told her it was not polite to stare.
She asked me "but why can't I watch"?
I replied:
"Because they might hear you"
The first letter of the sign of a derelict hotel fell off and killed a man.
Such a pointless conversation.
What’s the sign of a really dedicated hot dog eating contestant?
They relish the competition.
I signed up for my company’s 401k
But I’m nervous because I’ve never ran that far before.
Every Zodiac sign has it’s own significant hairstyle
I saw a sign today that made me piss myself.....It said,
Anton LaVey tried to sign with a NBA team
But he was told he doesn't have a shot in hell.
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
What is your Sign?
My mother always told me I was cancer.
One day all mathematical signs gathered together in order to go into an adventure. Right before they were leaving, they didn't let the equal sign go with them.
They wanted to live an adventure without equal
I went to the hardware store with a friend and the store had pallets of soil, seed, and fertilizer out front. We both stopped and looked at one of the pallets stacked high with bags of dried steer manure. The sign said, "Strict limit 2 per customer."
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.
Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"
As I drive, I often see signs that say: "Falling Rocks"
Yeah, that's a LIE. Sometimes I even have a hard time getting up afterwards.
I got a signed LeBron James jersey for my son.
What's a donut's astrological sign?
Me: reading the “No Fences” sign next to the road
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?
My coworker : My Zodiac sign is Libra ; I want everyone to get along.
Me : I'm a Cancer ; While nobody wants me, I still grow on them.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
My deaf girlfriend just told me, “We need to talk.”
I recently decided to learn sign language...
So that I can tell jokes nobody has ever heard.
How do singing groups get new members?
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
Yesterday, I saw a group of trees sign a paper
My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes
I know several jokes in sign language
I guarantee you,no one has ever heard them before.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
I saw a sign the other day, "we sell moving boxes"
I guess they don't sell stationery boxes.
What does the closed sign on a brothel say?
Me and my Dad were in a car on our way to go hunting and saw a sign....
It said bear left, so we went home.
I used to have an addiction stealing road signs
But then I kept on getting signs telling me to stop
Archeologists will be digging for a lost village near my home. I hope they find some signs of life.
My boss wants me to sign up for a 401K...
I’m not sure how he expects anyone to run that far!!!
I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker
But when I got home all the signs were there
Just signed up for my company’s 401k!
I’m kinda nervous though...I’ve never ran that far before.
What are the unspoken rules of sign language?
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
