If you tend sheep then you are a shepherd. If you tend cow then you are.....

The most important Dad at the annual neighborhood end of Summer barbeque bash!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MassGootz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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What did the farmer yell to the shepherds who ran away after their flocks ate all his grass?

You cow herds!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard, and taking poops on my flower bed.

His dog is not as bad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Where did the shepherd take his sheep after it got lost and nearly died of hypothermia?

The icy ewe.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CIMMGW
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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They asked shepherd

- "How many sheep do you have?"

- "I don't know. Every time I start counting them, I fall asleep."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.

Blue sky at night? Day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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I bought a German shepherd today and named him Lord.

Now I can truly say the Lord is my shepherd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Do you know what one shepherd said to the other shepherd?

Let's get the flock out of here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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What does a shepherd tell their sheep when they get testy?

β€œI herd you!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90sWannabe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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I painted a German Shepherd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travischapmanart
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.

"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"

A shepherds spy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Sheepdog: That's all 50 sheep Shepherd: What? We should have only 47

Sheepdog: I know, I rounded them up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
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Why did they call Greenpeace when the shepherd died ?

Greenpeace can stop Wailing Sheeps (Whaling Ships)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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This German shepherd comes has a poo on my lawn every day !

Yesterday he brought a dog along

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I know that Shepherd’s Pies don’t contain Shepherds and Cottage Pies aren’t made from cottages, but with meat pies...

...what’s the beef?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Why did the little shepherd go to the hospital?

...because he had a little staff (staph).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoneMachineNo13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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How do German Shepherds greet each other?

Guttendog

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmethylphenol
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Shepherd: Did you get all the sheep in?

Sheepdog: Yep. All 30 of them.

Shepherd: We've only got 28 sheep.

Sheepdog: I rounded them up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pelipar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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You know what my Australian Shepherd's favorite cheese is?

Aussie-ago.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Linkjmaur
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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I'd tell you about my German Shepherd shedding in the carpet

But it's really just a doggy shag story.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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A group of shepherds committed suicide last night. They heard the song β€œthere will never be another you.”
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an asshole and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"

And the sheep goes "You herd me!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagusiu
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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How do you greet a German Shepherd in their native language?

Guten Dog!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hausofthedead
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
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What did the shepherd exclaim after the snow storm?

I see you!

Icy ewe!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beaverpudding
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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A friend of mine is a shepherd.

He asked me if I'd help his round up his sheep.

I asked, "how many sheep do you have?"

"67", he said.

"Ok then", I said, "70".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/watsee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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I was bitten by a German Shepherd last week.

He caught me stealing a sheep from his farm in DΓΌsseldorf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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German Shepherd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickled_Pankake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2015
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Is it called a ewe turn because that's what happens when one sees a pervy shepherd coming?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pi_man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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How do you know if your dog is an Australian Shepherd?

The accent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HowdyDoodily
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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Q: What did one shepherd say to the other after seeing a wolf in the distance?

Let's get the flock out of here.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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What did the sheep say to the shepherd?

Stop it! You're herding me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2O2Ohindsight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?"

The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me."

The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night:

Day.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AAC0813
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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Red sky at night, shepherd's delight

meat and potatoes, shepherd's pie.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mingstaHK
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2017
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What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?

Let's get the flock outta here.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bruiser777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
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