"Gloria in Excel sheets Deo"
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︎ Dec 20 2020
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".
Sorry for going on a tangent
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Oh sheet.. look at my S!
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Google sheets
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︎ Jul 10 2020
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
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︎ Nov 05 2020
A midget escaped from prison by using bed sheets tied together and scaled down the outside wall. He left a note detailing his escape plan, highlighting the prison guards stupidity and incompetence.
The Warden said "he's a little condescending"
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Did I tell you that I excel between the sheets?
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︎ Jul 10 2020
Gloria in Excel sheets Deo
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︎ Dec 21 2019
I told me son he was a big pile of sheet
It was more of a blanket statement.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
A freak in the sheets.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Have You Ever Tried to Fold a Fitted Sheet?
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Did you hear about the sheet factory?
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︎ Jun 23 2020
Dryer sheet
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︎ Mar 09 2020
I bought a discount bed sheet off of Facebook.
Turned out to be a sham...
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︎ Jun 01 2020
I wanted to try a different method when putting sheets on my bed
But I just made it up as I went along.
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︎ May 09 2020
... in Excel sheet Deo!
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︎ Dec 25 2019
I had an employee at the hotel that ironed the bed sheets. I noticed that as the days wore on, the number of sheets ironed was going down.
Her job performance was de-creasing.
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︎ May 14 2020
Oh Sheet.
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︎ Dec 30 2018
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...
They keep foiling my plot!
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︎ Mar 01 2020
I just want to wear a sheet out in public
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︎ Dec 23 2019
Our toddler woke us up, ripping the sheet off our bed last night...
... itβs ok but, we recovered.
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︎ Mar 07 2020
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Did you hear the joke about a sheet of paper?
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︎ Feb 05 2020
My pet viper swallowed a sheet of window glass causing the snake severe physical discomfort.
It was a real pane in the asp.
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I watched an interesting documentary about how to fasten two sheets of metal together.
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︎ Aug 21 2019
Oh sheet.
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︎ Jun 24 2019
I'm way, way too proud of my company's April Fool's bit: YOUcalyptusβ’, a brand new brand by Sheets & Gigglesβ’
imgur.com/gallery/JolTuiG
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︎ Apr 01 2019
I lost my job as a sheet metal worker.
I don't know what happened but I gave it my awl.
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︎ Jun 08 2019
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
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︎ Jul 17 2019
I once played Texas Hold Em against a sheet of paper.
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︎ Jun 12 2019
I just finished a great documentary about the process by which metal sheets are fastened together with steel bolts.
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︎ Jan 10 2019
How did the sheet music theft know how to steal music so well?
He started off by taking notes
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︎ Mar 18 2019
I once accidentally sat down on a sheet of glass
It was a massive pane in my ass
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︎ May 09 2018
They just donβt give a sheet . . .
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︎ Sep 23 2018
I just watched a video on joining two pieces of sheet metal together. It was riveting.
I didn't watch the hole thing though. That would be boring.
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︎ Dec 01 2017
I was talking to my boyfriend about difficult it was for my band to sight read sheet music by Stevie Wonder.
He said "of course it's hard, he was blind you know!"
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︎ Jan 31 2019
Is a Sheet Rocker...
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︎ Dec 05 2018
People keep telling me that sheets and comforters are so great.
But I think those are just blanket statements.
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︎ Jul 15 2013
Someone tried to steal my silk sheets and replace them with a cheaper fabric.
Not today, satin.
Not today.
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︎ Jul 17 2018
What did one sheet of plywood say to the one right next to it?
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︎ Dec 23 2017
My wife was asking where the baking sheet for pizzas was...
I responded, "Well, I dunno, but if it was a pizza sheet, then I probably threw it away."
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︎ Apr 16 2018
I had the same sheets on my bed for five years, but last night they ripped. Today I put new sheets on my bed.
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︎ Jun 17 2018
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