Seam (sewing) Puns

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.

Shit. Wrong thread.

Oops, wrong thread.

.. or so it seams

She seams nice

At least that's the way she seamed...

It just doesn’t seam right.

She said, "That's how it seams"

He seams better now

Not sure what’s wrong, it just seams a little off.

Or sew it seams

Me: Sew it seams.

or sew it seams.

I want to start a page to post my embroidery projects in. Give me some puns about needles/floss/hoops and any other sewing and embroidery ideas.

Thanks!

Link to some of my work: https://imgur.com/gallery/DDBmG

Or at least sew its seams.

So we had all just finished eating supper, and I had just noticed my girlfriend had a really nice shirt on. So I commented on how well she had sewed up the back, and her mom:

"It seams like a good job"

....or at least sew its seams.

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team – until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldn’t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you …or at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? …Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? …Owlgebra

*What

He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...

Or sew it seams.