I think they are whistleblowers
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
Don’t go ashtray
He’s a catholic converter.
“Spoiler alert!”
Always proud to be an organ donor.
It becomes cough-y.
-My 11 year son a few moments after I had coffee go down the wrong pipe and had a bit of a coughing fit.
proud dad noises
Well, well, well.
When I walked in the place was great, everything was perfect apart from the kitchen. There were gas mains but no cooker! Work surfaces and water pipes, but no sink; empty plugs and spaces for where the fridge and freezer should sit.
When I bought the house I was told it was fully furnished! Furious, I called up intending to give whomever answered an earful.
I was told that everything should be arriving individually, and the house is being used as an experiment for completely autonomous, self thinking kitchen appliances!
Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. I opened it and a stove strolled in, tilted forward in a bow, slid past me and set itself into its spot! Even attaching itself to the gas mains!
Later that day another knock at the door signalled the arrival of the fridge and freezer.(who had travelled together) They bowed and sat themselves perfectly in place in my new kitchen. I was beaming!
That evening I was explaining to my wife how the appliances had arrived, when came another knock at the door. “This technology is going to change the world, I swear it!” I told her. “Can you answer the door? I’ve been on my feet all day”
“Yeah,” she replied, less enthusiastic than I,“but it’ll get to a point when humans are completely inferior.” She explained “When these machines develop such sentience, what’s stopping them from overthrowing us?” “Treating us as slaves, like we to them now?” She asked, distraught at theses ideas.
Knock knock
“It’s best not to worry about these things,” I said in an attempt to alleviate her fears.
“There are people- professionals developing contingencies for any possible future robot uprising!” “That future you’re frightened about is purely science fiction right now, and the way our collective knowledge and application of technology has advanced, (Even in the past 50 years!) our own scientists and engineers will be able to crush any worries we may have when the time comes.” I explained.
She sighed, agreeing somewhat reluctantly. “Don’t think on it now, have some faith!” I told her.
Knock knock
“Now let that sink in!”
But he burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe!
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
His boss found out, and now he’s in deep shit.
“Well leave her on the side and just eat your vegetables”.
I woke up exhausted!
"No, I'm fairly certain it was my mother."
Credit to B.C. (comic strip), most likely paraphrased since I read it many a moon ago, though I'm fairly certain the punchline is very close to the original.
The plumber told me.
Duct tape used for everything, including puns
However his plans were nothing more than a pipe dream.
So he checked the plumbing thread.
Let that sink in
He said they were metro gnomes.
My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.
One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.
So it’s either not a pun, or we’re dense.
Me: "Hey dad, I think I would like to teach abroad one day. What do you think?"
Dad: "Why? We got a broad right here!"
[Points at my mother]
Dad: "She's got a lot to learn too."
https://gfycat.com/AstonishingSeparateIberianmidwifetoad
I woke up exhausted.
Lawyer : (whispering) Deny everything.
Me : This isn't a chair.
They're full of crap
An organ donor
Me: “Hey mom what’s puree ?
(Before she even takes a breath my dad pipes up)
Dad: “That’s a Canadian”
But it's just a pipe dream
A pipe dream
He was touching a copper water pipe and I'm an electrician.
I told him so that it would come out pie pan hot.
He picks up the ketchup bottle, glances at it and gives a hearty chuckle before slathering his brat in ketchup.
Puzzled, the woman watches as the next customer, a young girl, walks up to order her hot dog.
As she takes the container of relish, she bursts into a fit of giggles and walks off with her food, still laughing merrily.
A middle-aged man steps up next. Shoveling sauerkraut onto his hot dog, he laughs uproariously and walks away grinning.
When she reaches the front of the line, the woman asks the hot dog vendor,
“Excuse me, sir, but why does everyone laugh when they get their hot dogs?”
“It’s simple, ma’am.” he says, handing her a piping-hot sausage. “I’m surprised you haven’t discovered for yourself.”
Glancing at the mustard, the woman lets loose a peal of laughter.
“Ya see, ma’am? The real_joke’s always in the condiments!"
Burnt my lips on the exhaust pipe
