Water Pipe Puns

I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."

He was touching a copper water pipe and I'm an electrician.

Me: Hello plumber, how are you doing today?

Plumber: I feel drained.

Sure, just use a water pipe.

My folks came up to visit. My mom flubbed the coffee, putting the grounds in the water chamber and she had to disassemble it and clean it before making coffee. Once we had piping hot cups all around my dad chimes in with this:

"You know, messing up the coffee is grounds for divorce."

I go to the sink in the kitchen to pour myself a glass of water. Punny Dad comes up behind me and starts lightly hitting the pipe.

Me: No Dad - Dad: 'Tap' water - Me: - I get it Dad!

I was google searching for water pipes between counties

Me: why do all of these links include something about frozen water?

Coworker: oh that's hard water.

Me and my brother (looking after his son) having a conversation after I got back from a short holiday.

Me: I can't get into my house at the moment...

Brother: Why not?

Me: Turns out it flooded while I was away, hot water pipes burst...

Brother: That must have dampened the mood!

Brother proceeds to move his sons mouth into a mock laughing motion as he chuckles to himself.