The Oscar winner for Best Picture is a Bong hit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/centuryeyes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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I made a bong out of a dictionary.

It was high definition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tonzeejee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2018
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When does a clock get hungry?

After the bong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eode11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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My son got mad after I called his weed stupid

I said "Jeez cant you take a toke ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/datdragonfruittho
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Ever hear about the toilet that suffered from PTSD?

They told their therapist they've seen some shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dynacus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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So I was looking to get some weed the other day...

So I was looking to get some weed the other day, and I asked my buddy if he had any recommendations since I wasn't really feeling like hitting a bong or joint. My buddy he suggests dabs, said he had a buddy named Yaba who sold good stuff. I wasn't convinced since I'm not a big user. But he assured me it would be great. He tells me "A Yaba-Dab-will-do-ya"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Itchy_Horse
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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What sound does a weed bell make?

Bong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CartertheFarter87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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A blind man walks by a fish market. What does he say?

Hello ladies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wise_Guy_Plato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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Whats a stoners favorite instrument?

bonggos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrLinnerd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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Chandler Bing really is the master of dad jokes.

While at a tailor's,

"How long do you want the cuffs?"

"Well at least for as long as I have the pants."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FX114
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2014
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Where were you while we were getting high?

So I was on the red-eye flying overseas to meet my buddies for an epic roadtrip adventure. I got me a first class ticket because YOLO and I always wanted to try those convertible seat/beds.

So in the morning the flight attendants serve breakfast, which includes this tasty soup with poached egg in it. They offered drinks and they had champagne so I thought why the hell not.

There were delays and when we finally landed and I got to our meet up place, my mates were already there and gotten the bong out.

They said, "Where were you while we were getting high?"

"I was having..." and I turned to them, took my sunglasses off, and said, "champagne, soup and ova in the sky."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaudette
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
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My Dad's favorite joke:

There's a church in the country that is looking for a bell ringer for church on Sundays. A guy comes in for the job but he has no arms. The priest says "How are you going to ring the bell with no arms?"

"Come up in the bell tower with me and I'll show you."

The priest figures he'll humor him so when they get up there the backs all the way up to one side and runs full force into the side of the bell sending a "BONG" across the valley. The priest is so impressed he hires him. That Sunday the time comes and our bell ringer is all ready, backed into the corner. Runs full force and slips at the last minute falling to his death 100 feet below. A detective comes to investigate so the priest tells him the whole story. "We have to notify his next of kin, do you know his name?"

"No, but his face rings a bell."

The church now has to replace this guy so another guy comes in and coincidence of coincidences, he has no arms either. Same method of ringing the bell. Same accident. "Do you know his name?"

"No, but he's a dead ringer for the other guy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freak_flag_flies
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
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My Dad dropped this one this morning.

I walk downstairs to find my parents sitting at the computer discussing directions to an upcoming family event. Mom: How can Google and Bing give you completely different directions and both are wrong? Dad: That's because one is from the west coast and the other is Chinese. Me: Bing is not a Chinese company. Dad: Sure it is. Bing bong ching.

I... I was not sure how to react to this one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drew_do_voodoo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2014
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Pretty proud of this one.

I was hanging out with my roommate and he tells me "My bong broke earlier so I've been using my piece."

My response: "Rip in piece"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bch8
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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