Quilting Puns

He said, knit

But I told her winners never quilt.

It was Microsoft.

I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.

I have seen all the patterns.

They’re my favorite cover band.

I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....

He thread-end them

I thought it came with a pillow case, but it was a sham.

Me: I refuse to make blanket statements.

I said it's gonna take some super stitchin'.

I said no I hear it’s full of squares

...sew he went to the hospital. Since his life was hanging by a thread, the doctors decided that they'd use a blanket method to help him out: stitches. Warms my heart to say that he's all patched up now.

Quilted.

Quilting.

a sweater, cause it will keep yor body sweatier.

Me : (ಠ_ಠ)

Dad : Ok, I know this joke socks so I will quilt. You better blanket from your brain.

Me : (ಠ_ಥ)

oh sheet

My mom was worried. She told me to make sure I have plenty of blankets on my bed.

I told her I had it covered.

I assure her it was quilted

I love quilts.

A few years ago, I was in Radiography School with the Army. During our Basic Medical Orientation class, our instructer asked my class to give an example of a soft tissue.

I replied, "I can name two; Charmin and Puffs!"

I spent the remainder of class in the "Front Leaning Rest" position. Well worth it

I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

I told her she should be careful making blanket statements like that.

I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

I told her to quit making blanket statements like that.

I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”

Me: I refuse to make blanket statements.

Me: I refuse to make blanket statements.

That was a blanket statement.