Frank Gilbreth Sr.

Father of 12 and inspiration for the books and films Cheaper by The Dozen, Frank Gilbreth reportedly had this exchange when pulling up to an intersection with his car load of kids:

person: hey buddy, what are you doing with all those kids, building an ark?

Frank: Just doing what the good lord told me. All I need now is a jackass! HOP IN!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2014
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My grandad always said: "When one door closes, another one opens"...

...Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

πŸ“· Removed - Punchline in title

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrGonzoDog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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Before my surgery, my anesthesiologist gave me the choice of being knocked out by gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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Why did the Muslim get a speeding ticket during Ramadan?

He was going to fast

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cmon_Just_The_Tip
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2015
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Do you know why Egyptians are so sad?

Because they live in misery (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±ΩŠ)

Note for the non Arabic speakers:

Egypt = miSr (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±)

Egyptian = miSrii (Ω…Ψ΅Ψ±ΩŠ)

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?

If it had four doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoxyGramps
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2017
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"What are the names of all 10 reindeer mentioned in 'Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer'?"

"Well, let me see. There's Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolf, and ... and... There are only 9 reindeer mentioned in the song."

"Nope. There's 10. You forgot 'Olive'."

"'Olive'? There's not a reindeer named 'Olive'."

"Yes there is. 'β™« Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...β™«'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrmyxlplyx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2016
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Elevator gem I found today reddit.com/r/mildlyintere…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pieceofcheese87
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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3 Dads

R's son was on the HS fencing team. Now at College. Me: Is B on the fencing team in college? R: No. He competed in only a couple of events his Sr. year in HS. G: So he didn't stick with it. Me: If you don't keep up you get rusty. R: He lost his edge... Me: I get the point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C4Dave
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
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