Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
The origami semi-finals are airing soon.

You can watch it on Paperview

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Real_Normal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the Highest Level of Competition That a Semi Professional Sauerkraut Pickler Aspires To?

The Briner Leagues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/du_bekar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone’s bragging about how big their semi is

Odd I prefer my house detached

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sh_scotty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I came across a great movie about a semi-truck with a defective refrigeration unit that had to deliver a large shipment of meat.

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CpBear
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
The Semi colon is an important part of what?

The Semi-truck’s digestive system

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ds4ad0w
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the semi-colon that broke the law?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfy189
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I can relate to semi-permeable membranes

On a molecular level

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Withered_core
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a semi driver rocking out to 80s music while carrying a load of grain?

Haulin’ Oats... πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈπŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ I’ll show myself to the door. -dad

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Semi drivers who haul almonds

Drive everybody nuts.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smakattak
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
People who think semi-colons & commas are the same, are missing the point.
πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cactuscrash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Who led the Israelites through the semi-permeable membrane?

Osmoses

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeezusH
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Not that great, only semi-smart.
πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLordPapaya
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Semi-Colin
πŸ‘︎ 402
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πŸ‘€︎ u/din7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
🚨︎ report
Hey, did you hear about the semi that overturned and spilled all the rolling chairs onto the highway for several miles?

It was a widespread case of loose stools.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lameoldperson
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Reddit jokes are like someone running a semi over your entire fence.

Once you see it, you have no choice but to repost everything.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Money_fingers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call a self-driving semi aquatic vehicle used for African Safari tours?

Hippopautonomous

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gordoncrisp
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the jews get through the semi-permeable membrane

Osmoses

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarsMaher
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My Italian friend is starting a semi truck business.

He is calling it Rig a Tony.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a huge traffic jam involving several semi trucks

It was a big rigamarole

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shaneyruadh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Does semi parking mean...

...that I just put the car into neutral?

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pslab
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
A semi filled with ramen jackknifed on the highway destroying all the contents.

Damage was estimated at nearly $14.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seattledandy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2018
🚨︎ report
My son kept losing spitball wars at school. So i upgraded his straw to a semi-automatic...

By adding a paper clip

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Two Dads in a Semi

Riding down the road with a co-worker, I happen to see a "Sale" flag next to a cemetery advertising a land auction.

Me: "Hey look, the cemetery's having a sale. Wanna pick up a few cold ones?"

Other dad: "That's a sale people are dying for."

Me: "They had to put up a fence to keep to keep them out."

Other dad: "They were really digging it. Doesn't look like they have any takers though."

Me: "I bet there were a few under-takers."

We laughed for the next mile.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time we pass a semi on the highway carrying sod...

"Man, I wish I was that rich, that I could just send my lawn out to be mowed!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ancel3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2013
🚨︎ report
'Semi-erect' OAP caught shampooing his genitals on a bus claims he's 'no hardened criminal' bedfordshire-news.co.uk/N…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stretch_Aye
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Follow This Twitter Account For Semi-Daily Dad Jokes

@RonDawg64
https://twitter.com/RonDawg64

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brthmrk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Watching the Brazil vs. Germany semi-final...

Dad: Brazil looks like they're playing without a backbone!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/highlander24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2014
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people across a semi-permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?

He was given two consecutive sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesslees24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a good time.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Who led the Jewish people through a semi permeable membrane?

Os-Moses.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report

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