A semicolon got arrested

It got 2 back to back sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/streamerbanana
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
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Jeff, an Oxford comma, and a semicolon walk into a bar.

They both had a great time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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Did you hear about the semicolon who broke the law?

He was given two consecutive sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/no_compearison
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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Why did the semicolon smell bad?

Cause he took a shift.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dinzll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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The semicolon was invented because the colon was lonely...

It just wanted a little comma-raderie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bci1516
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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What kind of animal would a semicolon be?

A comma comma comma chameleon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinh456
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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How did the grammar nazi die?

They got semicolon cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arcajazz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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I had a cancer scare recently. The doctor said I may have full blown colon cancer

Thankfully it’s just semicolon cancer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/middleraged
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Did you hear about the unreadable writer with a colostomy bag?

Turns out he only had a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Why did the author suffer writers block after rectal surgery?

He was left with only a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ph00p
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I had to have part of my butt amputated.

Now it's just a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dustfinger_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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It's awkward hearing about your daughter's period problems, so when she came to me with them I told her...

Try using a comma, some times.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NamelessNutter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
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Why did the sentence go see a proctologist?

It had a swollen semicolon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pmax83
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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My doctor had to remove half my colon

I call it my semicolon

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imthexbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2013
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Had an appendectomy yesterday

Uncle asked me if I would still have my table of contents and index.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aggiegecko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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You need to know that my last name is Colon

My friend's dad saw me at church by myself and goes "since you're here without your family, does that make you a semicolon?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emscolon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2014
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Colonoscopies are just as painful as a dad joke punch line

My parents and I were eating dinner and talking about how Joan Rivers died after being put under anesthesia for a procedure that could have been forgone. My mom, a doctor, compared it to a colonoscopy in the sense that it is a routine procedure you get put under anesthesia for but you don't expect to die from.

Dad: Can't they perform colonoscopies now by having the patient swallow a pill with a camera?

Mom/Dr: They can but they won't be able to see the whole colon.

Dad: So, semicolon?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FollowillFan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2014
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Did you hear about the semicolon that broke the law?

It received two consecutive sentences.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HonoraryMancunian
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar.

Both of them had a great time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.

They both have a great time.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Jeff, a semicolon, and an Oxford Comma goes to a bar...

Both of them had a great time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g6mrfixit
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2018
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What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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