A punctuation pun.

'Postrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_BennyT
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2016
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Why was the chiropractor’s clinic called punctuation?

Because it’s a posture fee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmesuh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28
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Did you hear about the punctuation competition?

The winner got an apostrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hideandsheep
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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How about a punctuation joke?

Y'know, a comma-dy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/janinka709
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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I wrote a book about my love of punctuation.

The Comma Sutra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noahmancometh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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Did you hear about the apocalyptic punctuation mark?

It’s a catostrophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiseasedCupcake
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
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My neighbour said he'd look after my dog if I accepted the fact that he's currently dating a punctuation mark.

He's a comma dating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
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Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Anyone found using incorrect punctuation should be punished...

...with a lengthy sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/richardec
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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What does punctuation use to smell good?

Semi-cologne.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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The hardest part on talking about punctuation

is explaining your point

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Punctuation counts.

When to use a hyphen:

The test asked, "What is the capitol of Florida?"

I wrote, "F".

When I got my test back I learned: Apparently, the answer was "F - ".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
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Which piece of punctuation is usually a result of bowel cancer?

;

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period.

It marks the end of his sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geomads
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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Two punctuation marks walk into a bar.

One of them was accommodating.

Edit: Thanks to u/hydr0n1um who is more dad than I.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Does anyone else get turned on by certain punctuation?

The Hindus wrote a book on it, the Comma Sutra.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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They finally caught the guy who never uses any punctuation

He's serving a lifelong sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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My boss has been on my case for my unusual use of punctuation, but as far as I'm concerned, it's my asterisk.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0minous-Brass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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I won first prize in the National Punctuation Society contest...

So they gave me a posh trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KlimRous
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Maybe it’s my lack of punctuation.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laughinghammock
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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Punctuation changes a sentence

For example: I drank all the wine. I drank all the punctuation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acnl_arendell
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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Came out backwords / at a loss for words / just one big bowl of soup / proper punctuation: the colon / man,ure on a roll / just stirring the pot / poo-lease stop / can't. IOU potty humor / Y you say that? / It's fun, butt OK - mind my P's and Q's - I'll put lid on it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barwhack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2017
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Recently, Oxford has been cracking down on the proper use of punctuation.

Honestly, I'm entirely on board with this. This has be-comma issue within the community.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/proteen18
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
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I won the punctuation competition when I was at school.

The prize was a solid gold punctuation mark.

They gave me a posh trophy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewargingned
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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What does a punctuation mark get from a gastroenterologist?

A colon-oscopy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anotherlame
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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I'm having a fling with a certain type of punctuation.

It's accommodating me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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People who do not use punctuation deserve a long sentence

^

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Incan
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2015
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Punctuations are very important in my family.

All hell broke loose when big sister missed two periods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RainMorga
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
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What do you call camouflaged punctuation?

Comma Chameleon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JTG81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2016
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Punctuation is everything: "Will you marry me" is a marriage proposal

"Will, you, Mary, Me" = a Foursome Inquiry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
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Egalitarian Punctuation

I work in IT at a university, and I was requested to update a template email my office sends out to prospective students. Whenever I start an email, I always begin with the salutation "Hello [student name]. With a full stop period.

Among the other changes requested, folk wanted me to change the period to a comma, because it "looks better" or something. I don't know.

After a bit of back and forth, I gave in and said "Fine. I'll give in to your filthy comma-unist ways." Many groans were had all around the office.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2016
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What is a prisoners favorite punctuation?

A period.

Why?

Because it marks the end of a sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrojoGaming
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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