A bunch of little language-related walks-into-a-bar jokes...

From a real dad...

β€’ An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

β€’ A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

β€’ A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

β€’ An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

β€’ Two quotation marks walk into a β€œbar.”

β€’ A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

β€’ Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

β€’ A question mark walks into a bar?

β€’ A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

β€’ Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

β€’ A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

β€’ A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

β€’ Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

β€’ A synonym strolls into a tavern.

β€’ At the end of the day, a clichΓ© walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

β€’ A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

β€’ Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

β€’ A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

β€’ An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

β€’ The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

β€’ A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

β€’ The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

β€’ A dyslexic walks into a bra.

β€’ A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

β€’ A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

β€’ A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

β€’ A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yankee_doodle_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2023
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I finally won an argument with my wife the other night…

It was a dream!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MDMitchell2
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2022
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Did you hear about Willie Nelson?

He got hit by a car.

He was playing On the Road Again.

[edit: removed quotation marks.]

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InaneJargon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2022
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