Word for word what he said because he just said it a moment ago
It was deep.
I’ve never seen an old man named Kyle or Justin 🤔🤔
Met my quoda I have.
He said he couldn't do it because my garden is portrait.
"That's what."
-She
It was touching. Will be handy to know.
It's a web-cite.
"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"
Because I'm quite fond of these: ""
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): I have come up with a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Morning, Mr. B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Leave me alone, Baldrick. If I wanted to talk to a vegetable, I would have bought one at the market.
[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): I’m glad to say you won’t be needing that pill, Mr. B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words “I have a cunning plan” marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): They certainly are.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Well, forgive me if I don’t do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): We do nothing …
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Yup, it’s another world-beater.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): No, wait. We do nothing … until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): And then we … spring into action?
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): [to Baldrick] Unless I think of something, tomorrow we go to meet our Maker: in my case God, in your case God knows.
Baldrick (Tony Robinson): Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): The phrase, Baldrick, is “a case of sour grapes” – and yes it bloody well is.
Mrs. Miggins: The Scarlet Pimpernel, Mr. Blackadder! He’s so exciting, don’t you think?
Blackadder (Rowan Atkinson): Actually, I think he’s the most over-rated human being since Judas Iscariot won the AD31 Best Disciple Competition.
http://bestcleanfunnyjokes.com/funny-quotes-from-blackadder-the-third/
Impossible.
Mom: Go right ahead I’m fully engaged! Me: No, you’re married.
I told him I already reddit
she said she was positive she could find some
It was really uplifting.
I said, “Omelette you finish.”
"I know people, most of them have dementia, but I know people" He's a nurse at an old people's home...
Because he has great Wan liners.
I stink, therefore I am.
The answer is always "nothing"
a super sayin'
"Just breathe."
I am just providing some contexts
Those stories about my intellectual capacity do get under my skin. You know, for a while I even thought my staff believed it. There on my schedule first thing every morning it said, “Intelligence briefing.”
P- "Hello, Peter speaking"
D- "Hi Peter, this is Daniel speaking."
P- "We must be related!"
Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the Friars to close down their stall which was outside the mansion where they had been selling flowers. Said one Friar, "Well if it was anyone else we might have gotten away from it, but unfortunately only Hugh can prevent florist Friars".
"Sometimes change will not be given to you. You must ask for it." - John Masilela
Who is John Masilela? John Masilela is a bus conductor. Now read the quote again.
"This is a fluid situation, obviously..."
context: http://www.kcra.com/article/evacuation-orders-issued-for-low-levels-of-oroville/8735215
"George Washington may be the father of this country, but Coca-Cola's the pop!"
He had a good laugh...but no one else did.
A reporter once asked Tug if he preferred playing on grass or Astroturf
Tug's response: "I don't know, I've never smoked Astroturf"
While watching golf, some golfer named Chris Wood came on the screen.
Dad: "Hey, any of you guys know his brother, Stiff?"
Son. It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.
- Anytime anything rattles he says "that sounds like 2 skeletons making love in a biscuit tin."
- Any beeping, anywhere, ever, he grabs his chest and says "is that my pacemaker?"
- And the most awkward (he regularly says this) "I believe in sex, drugs and rock and roll... well, 2 out of 3 ain't bad." Then he sneers. Smugly. Every. Time.
