Semi Truck Puns

Unfortunately, the trailer spoiled it

He is calling it Rig a Tony.

It was a big rigamarole

Big rig trucks cane never make it to the finals, they can only make it to the semi-finals.

I poked my head in his room, and he was blathering about how he wanted to quit school and be a truck driver.

"I'm gonna get one of those big beautiful Peterbuilts, with all the running lights everywhere. Or maybe a Mack with an extended cab..."

"Better brew him a pot of coffee," I told his mother. "The final is in a half hour, and he's only semi-conscious."

The Semi-truck’s digestive system

So, my town has a major highway that runs through it, and a bridge that people can walk over. Well, some guy decides to tie a ball to a string and dangle it over the side of the bridge. That way, any car that goes under the bridge will think they hit something and the guy could have a good laugh. Well, a semi comes through, and the ball gets caught on the mirror. The guy's arm gets ripped clean off, and he's sent to the hospital right away. The truck driver gets pulled over as he's passing through another town. The arm is still dangling from the mirror. The truck driver is then arrested, for armed robbery. (Badum-tsss) (Thank you, thank you. I can't wait to get 3 whole karma for this one.)

After a long list of dad jokes in a chat, one of my friends told me to get hit by a truck. I responded with:

"that would be a semi-solution" and then: "If I am misunderstanding a part of this, please articulate your concerns to my friend lorry, she will clarify"

many people left the chat after this

Dad sees a semi truck hauling hay with a blown tire on the side of road

Dad: "Hay... that blows..."

Me: "Dammit, Dad..."

We get in the car ready for a long car ride and my friend brings up that he got an MRI on his back.

Friend:Ya it was in a semi truck

Dad:That's weird, how long ago was it

Friend: about a week ago

Mom:Would you say a "weak back"

Family was having breakfast at Denny's when my dad looks out the window towards a semi truck packed with wood pallets.

Dad: "I wonder if the driver cleaned those before he ate"

Me: "Cleaned what? All those pallets?"

Dad: "Yeah, I heard your supposed to cleanse your pallet before you eat!"

The whole table groaned, he was so proud of himself.

So we were in the car going to King's Island to spend the day, and while we were on the highway, there was a semi and a horse trailer in front of us.

Me: Are those horses?

Him: No, those are trucks.

I have never sighed so hard in my life.

Once upon a time in the 80’s, the religious supreme ruler of a middle eastern country fled outside military forces seeking to strip him of his power using whatever means necessary. Fearing for his life, he was secretly smuggled into the US where he reluctantly shaved his beard and attempted to blend in.

He successfully went native and got an apartment, and soon realized he needed a job to pay for food and rent. He didn't want to do any sort of manual labor or serve others, as he craved comfortable control. He eventually became a toll booth operator, where he enjoyed sitting in his high chair, making people pay him so that he would grant them passage. Over time he grew bold and began to use his own judgment on what vehicles would pay him for his blessing to cross.

One day, two semi-tractor trailer beverage trucks were in his line, a Pepsi truck in front, and a Coke truck behind. The Pepsi truck pulled up and he said "Pepsi truck, you may pass for free." The Pepsi truck driver happily accepted, and over his CB radio told the Coke truck driver “This guy just let me through for free!”. When the Coke truck pulled up, hoping to also pass for free, the toll booth dictator said "Coke truck, you will pay me 100 of your American dollars."

The Coke truck driver was livid, and said "You let that Pepsi truck pass for free! You want me to pay 100 dollars?! That’s outrageous! I am going to report this! What is your name?!" Our toll booth operator proudly replied "Ayatollah Cokemainly."

"Look! A semi truck!"

"Thats a whole truck."

Backstory: On a big truck a Super Single is a tire that is twice as wide as a traditional semi tire so you only need two tires per axle instead of four. My dad just bought a set for his truck.

Me: How are those Super Singles treatin' ya?

Dad: You should know, you are one!

They're only semi trucks